Sheldon: If we're all through playing "Mock the Flawed Technology", can we get on with Halo Night? We were supposed to start at 8, it is now 8:06.

Sheldon: Oh, what fresh hell is this?

Penny: Ugh, I cannot believe Christy let Howard into my apartment.
Sheldon: And I cannot believe people pay for horoscopes. But on a more serious note, it's 8:13 and we're still not playing "Halo".

Sheldon: One-on-one? We don't play one-on-one. We play teams, not one-on-one. One-on-one!

Sheldon: The wheel was a great idea. Relativity was a great idea. This is a notion, and a rather sucky one.

Penny: Cool! Whose head did I just blow off?
Sheldon: Mine!

Sheldon: Whoever's her partner will be hamstrung by her lack of experience, not to mention-
Penny: Ha-ha! There goes your head again.
Sheldon: Okay, it's not good sportsmanship to shoot somebody who's just re-spawned. You need to give them a chance to-
Now, come on!

Leonard: You have a TV in your room. Why don't you have breakfast in bed?
Sheldon: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.

Christy: Mmm! There's my little engine that could.
*Howard makes train noise*
Sheldon: There's one beloved children's book I'll never read again.

Chen: Hi, fellas. Oh, where's your annoying little friend who thinks he speaks Mandarin?
Sheldon: He's putting his needs ahead of the collective good. Where he comes from, that's punishable by death.
Chen: I come from Sacramento.

Leonard: I don't think she's a whore.
Penny: Oh no, she's definitely a whore. She has no standards. ... Wait, where's Howard?
*Off screen:*
Wolowitz: Bonjour, mademoiselle. I understand you're new in town.
Sheldon: Oh, good God!

Sheldon: Given the reaction to my costume, this party is a scathing indictment of the American educational system.
Kurt: You're a zebra, right?
Sheldon: (to Leonard) Yet another child left behind.

Sheldon: I don't care if anybody gets it. I'm going as the Doppler effect. If I have to, I can demonstrate. NYEEEOOOOM

Girl: What are you?
Sheldon: I'm gonna give you a hand: weawww.
Girl: A Choo choo train?
Sheldon: Close! weawwww
Girl: A brain damaged choo choo train?

Kurt: You are lucky little dwarf.
Sheldon: He is a hobbit! Don't worry, I've got your back!