Amy: All canines instinctively know how to swim. Why wouldn't a werewolf have the same abilities?
Bernadette: Well, they're not a hundred percent wolf. They're a werewolf, that's only a part wolf. That's like comparing apples to oranges.
Sheldon: Thank you! Although technically it's apples that turn into were-oranges when the moon is full.

Oh, this is fun. We should do it sometime when you aren't all PMSing.

Leonard: At least listen to it through headphones. I'm trying to sleep, good night.
Sheldon: Boy. Taylor was right. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

Sheldon: What's the plan?
Leonard: I'm just gonna be honest with the guy.
Sheldon: Honesty will never get us in.
Leonard: Well, what's your plan.
Sheldon: All right. My plan is predicated on the assumption they have a nurse's office and your willingness to be lightly stabbed.

Leonard: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Shedding the yoke of my oppressors, you blind, sad little man.

Penny: *using Sheldon's knock* Sheldon? Sheldon? Sheldon? *Sheldon answers with a suspicious and smiling look on his face*
Sheldon: I bet that started off as a joke, but by the third one, you realized there was something strangely enjoyable about it.
Penny: Yeah, I kind of wanna do it again.
Sheldon: I don't recommend it. You'll be doing it the rest of your life.

Penny: You are a wise man.
Sheldon: Well, Penny, who's smarter, the wise man or the person who comes to him for advice?
Penny: Oh, I guess you're right. Maybe it is the person who asks.
Sheldon: No, it's the wise man. That's why they call him the wise man.

Leonard: So, Mom, you haven't seen Penny since we got engaged.
Penny: Yeah, let me show you the ring.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, lovely. Must have been very expensive.
Sheldon: Oh, no, not at all. No, we found a place online that repurposes diamond drill bits.
Leonard: We did not. That's not true. Can I speak to you alone for a second?
Sheldon: Oh, sure.
Leonard: It came from Tiffany's.
Sheldon: You mean the box, right?
Leonard: Keep walking!

Sheldon: And as an added bonus, the word touche comes from fencing. It would be our only opportunity to use it in a non-metaphorical sense.
Leonard: What about a game of tag on a French school yard?
Sheldon: Ah, touche.

Leonard: I'm surprised you wanted to go to a sports bar, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Look at this blister. Like it or not, we're athletes now.

Sheldon: I tried fencing today.
Amy: How'd that go?
Sheldon: It was pretty easy. And I think my background in "mathletics" helped.

Howard: You sure you're up for that? She did hurt you.
Sheldon: Oh, no, it's all right. I think of my time with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum: sweet and enjoyable at first, but ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness.

Vanessa: And I don't need to tell you, there aren't a lot of men who love physics, archaic languages and flags of the world.
Sheldon: I am a bit of a unicorn.

Sheldon: Would you care to play an ocean-themed game I invented?
Amy: Sure. What is it?
Sheldon: It's called Food, Friend, Fight. One of us chooses three aquatic creatures, and the other one must decide which he would eat, befriend, or battle.
Amy: So it's like Kiss, Marry, Kill.
Sheldon: What is that?
Amy: It's a game where you're given three people and you choose which one you'd kiss, marry, or kill.
Sheldon: Well, my game is better, 'cause instead of marrying someone, you get to eat them.

Meemaw: Moonpie!
Sheldon: Meemaw! I'm so happy to see you!
Meemaw: I'm happy to see you, too!
Sheldon: Oh, you got even smaller. I love it!

Leonard: Hang on. Maybe there should be a "no insult" clause about me, too.
Sheldon: Do you still like cilantro?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: You're tying my hands here.