Colonel Williams: And because of the quantum vortices, this can run perpetually?
Leonard: Exactly. Yeah, you have a good grasp of the physics.
Colonel Williams: Well, I'm a scientist by training.
Howard: Really? You're a physicist?
Colonel Williams: Better. I'm an engineer.
(Sheldon stops himself from speaking)

Colonel Williams: I'll cut to the chase. The Air Force believes there's an application for this technology, and we're interested in funding your research.
Howard: Well, thanks, but you should know we're a little concerned about this being used in weapons.
Colonel Williams: Oh, well, let me put your mind at ease. What we use it for is none of your business.

Raj: Wail till I Snapchat that my friends might be working on a top secret government project.
Leonard: Are you crazy? You can't put that on Snapchat.
Raj: Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman.

Amy: I mean, seriously, you have got to let me scan your brain when you're being dishonest so I can see what lights up.
Penny: That's super helpful, Amy. Thanks a lot. I can't wait to do that.
Amy: I can see a clump of bitch cells lightin' up from here.

Colonel Williams: Look, guys, it's just a guidance system. It's not like you're handing us the Death Star from Star Trek.

Leonard: Wish we weren't so far from my parking space.
Sheldon: The way you put away those lemon bars, perhaps that's a good thing.
Leonard: I'd like to reinstate the you-not-talking rule.
Sheldon: Why? It clearly doesn't work.

Bernadette: Did you tell anyone?
Penny: No, you told me not to.
Bernadette: I bet it was Barbara Chen in retrovirus. She might have heard me throwing up one morning. Every since she got the hearing aid, she thinks she's so great.

Amy: Why don't you want anyone to know?
Bernadette: 'Cause I'm up for a major immunotherapy study, and if they find out I'm pregnant they might give it to someone else.
Penny: Would they really do that?
Bernadette: I know they would. They did it to Barbara Chen last year when I told everyone she was pregnant.

Penny: Are you still upset about people finding out you're pregnant?
Bernadette: I'm furious.
Penny: Sure, sure. Uh, did you ever figure out who told?
Bernadette: No. I confronted Barbara Chen, but she claimed she didn't know what I was talking about.
Penny: Hmm. Well, I guess it's just gonna remain a mystery, you know, like whatever happened in that seminar after they dimmed the lights. (laughs)
Bernadette: It had to be Barbara. I've been trying to figure out a way to get back at her. Do you think using her work computer to Google "how to be a prostitute" is over the line?

Penny: Okay, all right, honey, you know what? There was something I was too scared to tell you yesterday, a-and now I'm just balls-out terrified to tell you, but the truth is it wasn't Barbara Chen, it was me. I'm the reason everyone knows.

Sheldon: Okay, quick question. Am I allowed to exchange pleasantries upon meeting this colonel?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Am I allowed to inform him that Colonel Sanders was never actually in the military?
Leonard: I'm getting enraged.

Leonard: Where did you go to school?
Colonel Williams: MIT.
Howard: Well, hey, me, too.
Colonel Williams: I should have known. Behind every great invention is an MIT mind.
(Sheldon gasps, but controls himself)

Colonel Williams: All you need to worry about is, right now, it's (wide gesture) this big, and we need it to be (small gesture) this big.
Leonard: That's a lot less big.
Colonel Williams: Yes, it's (wide gesture) this much less big.

Penny: Something happen at the meeting?
Sheldon: They made me promise I wouldn't talk.
Penny: And you talked?
Sheldon: Well, now, see? You knew what was gonna happen. Why didn't they?

Penny: Well, if it makes you feel any better, Bernadette's mad at me, too.
Sheldon: Mmm. If it makes you feel any better, a parasitoid wasp known as Oobius depressus has been rediscovered after 101 years of presumed extinction.
Penny: Why would that make me feel better?
Sheldon: Why would your Bernadette thing make me feel better? At least mine was educational.