Howard: How'd you even get that up the stairs?
Sheldon: I said to myself, "I think I can, I think I can." And then I couldn't, so I paid two men who promised not to come rob us later.

Colonel Williams: What's this?
Leonard: Oh, nothing. Just some math we don't need.
Colonel Williams: This is a different approach. Are you trying to get the guidance system even smaller?
Leonard: It's just a theory. Uh, it's not even worked out.
Colonel Williams: Oh. I want this.
Howard: But we've already met the agreed upon specs. Going smaller would require weeks' worth of new computations.
Colonel Williams: So get the kid with the two shirts to do it.

Leonard: You know, I do have a way to get him out of our hair. I've been holding onto this for a few years, but maybe now's the time.
Howard: We can just lock the door; you don't have to kill him.
Leonard: You can't kill him; he'll just respawn at the last save point.

Howard: The kid with the two shirts screwed us again.

Leonard: I got it.
Howard: You really figured it out?
Leonard: No, but when we show this nonsense to Sheldon, it will make him crazy, and he'll have to fix it.
Howard: Oh, you're a genius.
Leonard: Yeah, I know. That's not even a math symbol. That's just Charlie Brown's hair.

Sheldon: And guess where we get to sleep? Our choice of a turn-of-the-century railway bunkhouse or a working caboose. Now, the problem with a caboose is there's no bathroom, but the problem with the bunkhouse is it's not a caboose.

Bernadette: Stuart, don't you drink my milk!

Sheldon: Leonard, in the world of theoretical physics, you never finish; so much is unprovable.
But when I was studying that railway guide, it was so tangible and so satisfying that something just clicked. Then it clacked. Then it clicked, then it clacked, click-clack clickety-clack, and here we are. Whoo-whoo!

Amy: Is there anything we can do?
Bernadette: Sure. Open up a college fund, shop for life insurance, and in the laundry room, there's a mountain of dirty laundry. Wash it or burn in, your choice.

Howard: Okay, I'm zeroing out the electro-osmotic flow rate in the micro-fluidic channel.
Leonard: Nicely done, Howard.
Howard: Well, my wife is four-foot-ten and sexually satisfied, so clearly I know my way around tiny things.
Leonard: Good for you, on the cutting edge of new technology and still making inappropriate comments about the mother of your child.
Howard: Those are just the things I say out loud.

Sheldon: Gentlemen, we need to stop immediately.
Howard: What's wrong?
Sheldon: I am looking at the math, and I think we can make the device between eight and ten percent smaller.
Leonard: That's great, but the Air Force approved the specs. We're good to go.
Howard: Yeah, it doesn't need to be smaller.
Sheldon: Shame on you. Where would we be if poodle breeders had that attitude? I'll tell you. We would have the standard and the miniature poodle, but no toy or teacup. Which by the way, is not an officially recognized breed, but that's just poodle politics.
Leonard: Can we please stop talking about poodles?
Sheldon: Fine. Candy bars. Now, do you enjoy a fun size? I know you do.

Sheldon: Oh, that was my sixth trip to the bathroom. As long as that's not a urinary tract infection, that's a personal best.

Bernadette: For Howie's occupation, should I include that he was an astronaut?
Amy: Well, he mentioned it in his mother's eulogy, so why not?

Sheldon: You'll never believe it. Leonard gave me the most incredible gift, a trip to a historic railway, and I get to operate an actual locomotive.
Amy: Wow. He finally used it. What'd you do?
Sheldon: No idea. All I know is, I'm going to be working on the railroad all the live long day.

Amy: Well, I'm really happy for you.
Sheldon: Oh, no. It's not just me. No, the railway is four hours from the nearest airport, and guess who gets to drive me.
Amy: I give up.
Sheldon: You!
Amy: No. I really give up.