Leonard: Hey, I was thinking, if you want to do a couples costume, we could paint ourselves green and be Hulk and She-Hulk. Or we could paint ourselves blue and go as Nightcrawler and Mystique.
Penny: Is there any scenario where we're not in full body paint?
Leonard: Yeah, if you want us to look like losers.

Bernadette: He's such a sweetie.
Howard: I know, I wish there was some way we could help him.
Bernadette: If he could find a girl with a good job, all his problems would be over.
Howard: (scrubbing the inside of the oven) Yeah, that's working out great for me.

Howard: This is for you.
Raj: What's this?
Bernadette: It's back pay for all the babysitting and taking care of Halley you've done.
Howard: There's more than enough in there to cover Comic-Con.
Stuart: Um, I also take care of Halley.
Bernadette: And you live here for free.
Stuart: I do, ma'am, thank you, ma'am.

Howard: You know what, I'm not gonna go either. I'm a father now. I'd rather spend time with my family.
Bernadette: You just don't want to go alone with Sheldon.
Howard: (rushing out of the room) I'm gonna go check on dinner.

Leonard: Don't worry, we won't be doing much sleeping anyway. It's like an all-night party. There's trivia contests and Dungeons & Dragons. As we like to say, it's "off the chain mail."

Sheldon: So they're both trying to make each other happy, and the end result is they make each other sad? That's hilarious.

Raj: I've been plenty of times. If I miss one, it's fine. I'm a big boy.
Sheldon: I'm a big boy, and if I missed one, I'd throw a big-boy tantrum.

Raj: How bad is it?
Sheldon: Let me put it this way. Do you own a barrel and suspenders?
Raj: Are you serious?
Sheldon: I'm not wearing this visor to play women's golf.

Leonard: What is Pink Cheeks?
Raj: It's intimate waxing. Quit looking at that!

Howard: Why don't you just tell her not to come?
Leonard: Well, she's so excited, I can't do that to her.
Howard: What if you make it sound so bad she won't want to go?
Leonard: That I would do to her.

Raj: Go ahead, make jokes. I don't know why you think you're going to Comic-Con. You just had a baby.
Howard: So?
Raj: Well, so? So you think Bernadette's just gonna let you jet down to San Diego for five days and leave her alone?
Leonard: Hang on. So I have to bring Penny, you can't afford it, Howard's gonna get in trouble, and this guy gets to have a great time.
Sheldon: I'm gonna go as Dumbledore.

Howard: Well, Comic-Con tickets go on sale this Friday, and I was hoping I could go with the guys. But before you say anything, I'll make up for being gone by doing everything around here. I mean everything. I'm even gonna answer for you. (Imitating Bernadette's voice) Yes, Howard, you can go.

Leonard: This is us camping out in line for the Avengers panel.
Penny: Oh, you really sleep on the sidewalk, huh?
Leonard: Yeah. It can get chilly, but Raj figured out that if you pee in a bottle and put it in your sleeping bag, it helps keep you warm.

Penny: You know, maybe it won't be that bad. Leonard says it's really mainstream now. Comic books aren't just for sad nerds anymore. (Penny drives past Raj, dressed as Aquaman, twirling a sign for Stuart's comic book store) I mean, it is still a key part of their demographic.

Howard: There's got to be other ways you can make a quick buck.
Raj: Yeah, you'd think. (Bernadette enters with shopping) Ooh, maybe I could sell my blood and sperm.
Bernadette: I really should wear a bell around my neck so you guys can hear me coming.