Bernadette: I just don't know what the right thing to do is. If I go back to work, I'm abandoning Halley. If I don't go, I'm giving up everything I worked for. It's like there's no right choice.
Howard: Look, I don't know what the best decision is, either. But whatever we choose, if we're not happy, we can undo it.
Bernadette: I guess.
Howard: And the best part is: Halley won't remember a thing. (laughs) Babies are cute, but they're dumb.
(chuckles) I mean, I go like this, she thinks I'm gone. Then magically I'm back. I mean, honestly, why are we saving for college?
Bernadette: I'm not crazy about you calling our baby dumb.
Howard: Well, she gets it from me.

Bartender: You gonna buy another round for the house?
Sheldon: Uh, no, thank you. (To Leonard) We now know why MasterCard sent me a fraud alert.

Leonard: Ask him.
Sheldon: Um, yes. Howdy, partner. Do you happen to recollect if I left a notebook in these here parts?
Raj: These here parts?
Sheldon: It's called fitting in. By the way, good luck.

Bernadette: Plus, I think I'm setting a good example for Halley, to show her that women can be mothers and still have satisfying careers. Sure, she won't know where I went or if I'm ever coming back. That'll just make the ten minutes between when I get home (voice breaking) and her bedtime even more special.

Leonard: We came home from work and we found you.
Sheldon: Home from work? What time is it?
Penny: It's 9 o'clock.
Sheldon: 9?! What happened to 8 and 7 and all the other o'clocks?

Penny: Hey, Raj, do you want to go with me tomorrow?
Raj: Are you asking because you want me there or out of pity? Actually, never mind, don't answer. I'd love to.

Sheldon: And for your information, the summer conference on algebraic topology at Caltech is nerd prom.

Howard: You okay?
Bernadette: Of course, why?
Howard: Well, I don't know, you seem a little upset.
Bernadette: No, I'm fine.
Howard: You sure?
Stuart: Why don't you think she's fine? She sounds fine, she looks fine. If I saw her on the street I'd say, "Damn, that girl's fine!"

Sheldon: Why am I naked from the waist down?
Raj: I don't know where your pants are, but we did find your underwear in a pot on the stove.

Howard: Well, I know she's mad at me about something.
Stuart: Well, what have you done that would upset her?
Howard: Oh, gosh, how much time do you have?

Raj: You're not going to prison.
Leonard: But, boy, it is funny to think about.

Bernadette: I didn't want to tell you, but I'm having a really tough time about going back to work.
Howard: Oh. Okay, well, I get that. It was hard for me when I went back.
Bernadette: It was?
Howard: Of course. I missed you, and the baby, and being able to watch Ellen every day.

Amy: Sheldon, you're sick, go back to bed.
Sheldon: (stuffy) I am fine. Here, eat your toast. (sneezes on the toast) Sorry.
Amy: It's okay, now I don't need butter.