Amy: I guess we could bury it in the park.
Sheldon: Yeah, where dogs do their business and other dogs sniff that business? I don't think so.

Howard: I'm not gonna audition.
Bernadette: Hey, I didn't raise a quitter.
Howard: You didn't raise me at all.

Bernadette: Hey, this isn't about me. I just wanted you to have your dream, and I wanted to control everything about how you looked and acted so that your victory was mine.
Howard: Well, that's honest.

Howard: But if I'm gonna go through with this, I have to do it my own way.
Bernadette: I respect that, and I'm glad that I helped lead you to this moment.
Howard: Stop trying to make this your victory!

Sheldon: I remember that game.
Amy: Did they win?
Sheldon: Oh, no. No, they lost so bad, the other team let one of their cheerleaders try to kick a field goal.
Amy: Well, that was a nice speech. Too bad it didn't work.
Sheldon: Maybe it did.
Amy: What do you mean?
Sheldon: I've been acting like the game is over, but it's only halftime. And there's a lot more physics left to play.
Amy: Wow, was that your first ever sports metaphor?
Sheldon: It was. And I think it was a home run. That's two.

Penny: We should just try and avoid anything that makes them think of their project or science or Nobel Prizes or successes or failures.
Amy: Hi.
Leonard: Hi!
Penny: Hey, guys.
Raj: Hey!
Amy: What are you guys doing?
Bernadette: Nothing.
Sheldon: Nothing? Like what my career has come to? Thanks a lot.
Howard: Nice going.

Penny: What you eating?
Leonard: Chicken fried steak.
Penny: What? You can't have chicken fried steak first thing in the morning.
Leonard: Hey, you knew I was a bad boy when you married me. Come on, you want a piece of this?
Penny: You or the steak?
Leonard: Me. I'm not sharing the steak.

Bernadette: Put it back on. You look adorable.
Howard: It's just a practice tape from when I was trying to become a member of the Magic Castle.
Bernadette: I didn't know you auditioned there.
Howard: Oh, I never went through with it. I watched the tape and realized I wasn't good enough. You know that trick where you saw a mannequin in half?
Bernadette: Don't you mean a lady?
Howard: Thank God it was not a lady. I'd just be getting out of jail.

Amy: Should I leave you two alone?
Sheldon: No, this is gonna be inspiring. You should watch.

Howard: What's all this?
Bernadette: Your magic tricks from the garage. Your wands, your top hat with the stuffed mouse inside.
Howard: I never had a stuffed mouse.
Bernadette: Okay, do not wear this hat.

Bernadette: Howard and I have been working really hard on his audition, so it'll be helpful to get another set of eyes on it.
Raj: Well, as someone who has watched every episode of America's Got Talent, I'm getting pretty good at telling when some American's got talent. Seriously, Heidi and I agree, like, 90% of the time.

Howard: Hello. I'm The Great Howdini from Altadena, California. I have no brothers or sisters and my favorite thing to eat is grilled cheese.
Raj: When does the magic start?
Bernadette: It already started.

Leonard: Sheldon?
Sheldon: (muffled) Go away.
Leonard: Buddy, come on, let us help you.
Sheldon: The only person who could help me was erased by the Medford High Wolves.
Penny: Oh, that's funny. My high school was also the wolves. No? Not now? Okay.

Leonard: Would you like to say something?
Sheldon: Yes, thank you. I know this is just a scientific theory, but to me, it was more than that. It described the universe in a new and beautiful way. I want that to be the universe we live in, but I guess it's not.

Leonard: It's kind of beautiful, isn't it?
Amy: Yeah, it is.
Sheldon: It's getting kind of close to the curtain.
Leonard: It's in water, it's fine.
Penny: Oh!
Leonard: Oh!
Sheldon: Oh! Looks like we both had theories that were wrong.