Sheldon: I will admit the meeting did not go the way I wanted.
Howard: [imitating Shatner] Because you barfed where no man has barfed before?

Raj: Cut the crap. We know where you were. We know what you were doing.
Stuart: Yeah, I just told you. I was at CVS breathing my ass off.
Sheldon: Oh, you were breathing, all right. You were breathing the rarefied air of celebrities.
Stuart: I don't know what you're talking about.
Raj: Then why are you trembling?
Stuart: I'm always trembling.

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: I don't want to play anymore. It's too much pressure.
Wil Wheaton: Why, what happened?
Stuart: I've-I've said too much.
Wil Wheaton: You haven't said anything.
Stuart: Not to you, to them.
Wil Wheaton: Who's them?
Stuart: Ah! Now I have said too much!

Wil Wheaton: You come face to face with a massive monster with a gaping maw full of teeth, three huge legs, and flailing tentacles. What do you do?
William Shatner: Fellas, it looks like we're facing a, an otyugh. Here's the plan-
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: Hold on there, Bill.
William Shatner: Now what, Kareem?
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: How do we know it's not a Neo-otyugh?
William Shatner: Same way I know the difference between an owlbear and a bugbear. Does that answer your question?
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: No.
Joe Manganiello: Look, there's one way to settle this: we chop it up and look at the pieces.
Kevin Smith: Oh, come on, why do you always got to attack everything? Why can't we just try talking to it?
Joe Manganiello: Big surprise, Podcast here wants to talk.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: What do you think, Leonard?
Leonard: I think this is the greatest day of my entire life.
William Shatner: It's all right, buddy, one day you'll meet a girl.

Leonard: All right, I'll tell you. Uh, [stammers] Kevin Smith was there, and-and, uh, this really tall guy named Kareem.
Penny: Wait-wait, K-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
Leonard: I don't know, it was, uh, Kareem something Jabbar. How do you know him
Penny: How do you not know him?
Leonard: Well, I know him now 'cause he was there.

Leonard: Oh, a-and that, uh, the guy that played the werewolf on-on True Blood, he was there.
Penny: Wh-- Joe Manganiello?
Leonard: Uh, yeah.
Penny: From Magic Mike?
Leonard: What's that?
Penny: Okay, okay, did he look like this?
Leonard: He had his clothes on, but, yeah.

Wil Wheaton: Hey, what are you guys doing here?
Amy: Oh, I, uh, think Sheldon might have left something.
Wil Wheaton: Oh, you mean, besides his lunch?

Leonard: Hey, guys.
Sheldon: What are you smiling about?
Leonard: What? This is my regular face.
Howard: No, it's not. Y-Your regular face is more like this-
Raj: No, no, i-it's-it's more in the eyebrows, like this.
Leonard: Okay, make your jokes. I'm still in a great mood. [phone ringing] Hey. Wait, what? Why? Oh, come on, but O-Okay, fine.
Sheldon: Huh, Raj was right, it is more in the eyebrows.

Howard: Wil! Wil Wheaton!
Raj: Open! Open!
Wil Wheaton: No. No. No. [to Sheldon] Hell no.

Amy: Speaking of putting dollars in things I loved you in Magic Mike.
Joe Manganiello: [chuckles] Thanks. [to Wil Wheaton] Switch places with me.

William Shatner: Are we playing musical chairs or Dungeons & Dragons?
Penny: Yeah, let's teach that ogre what my broadsword tastes like.
William Shatner: I like your moxie.
Penny: Aw, and I like your grandpa words.

Amy: Thank you again for inviting us, and don't worry, we won't tell the guys.
Wil Wheaton: You know what, why don't you tell the guys? In fact, let's all take a picture and send it to them right now.
[phones buzzing]
Raj: That's weird.
Leonard: We deserve that.

Penny: Leonard played Dungeons & Dragons with the hot guy from Magic Mike.
Bernadette: I never got to see that movie.
Amy: Seriously?
Bernadette: Yeah, Howie made us leave as soon as he realized it wasn't about magic.

Bernadette: Which guy?
Penny: That one.
Bernadette: Abracadabra.

Wil Wheaton: You guys suck.
Sheldon: Agreed. You guys suck. Let's go, Wil.