Sheldon: She calls me moon-pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up.

Leonard: Well, it looks like you're caught between a rock and a crazy place.
Sheldon: I hate when that happens.

Sheldon: No one calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw.

Penny: Hey Leonard, what's up with Dr Wackadoodle?

Penny: Okay, I got a box, but there's no key in here. Just letters.
Sheldon: That's the wrong box. Put it back.
Penny: Oh, Sheldon, are these letters from your grandmother?
Sheldon: Don't read those letters.
Penny: Oh, look, she calls you Moon Pie. That is so cute.
Sheldon: (shrieking) Put down the letters!

Penny: We're putting the play on for one night in this little 99-seat theater. Can you come? Oh great! Do you know 98 other people that might want to come?

Penny: What up moonpie!

Leonard: We had a vote. Three of us voted for airplane. Sheldon voted for train, so we're taking the train.
Sheldon: Don't say it like that, Leonard. Say it like, "We're taking the train!"

Howard: You know the old saying: pasty and frail never fail.

Howard: Okay, Raj, hand me the number six torque screwdriver.
Sheldon: Stop. We can't do this. It's not right.
Raj: Sheldon, you have two choices. Either you let him put a bigger hard drive in the TiVo, or you delete stuff before we go out of town.
Sheldon: But once you open the box, you've voided the warranty. The warranty is a sacred covenant we've entered into with the manufacturer. He offers to stand by his equipment, and we in return agree not to violate the integrity of the internal hardware. This little orange sticker is all that stands between us and anarchy.
Leonard: Okay, then we wont touch the hard drive. We'll just erase the first season of Battlestar.
Sheldon: (Rips off the sticker) There. We're outlaws.

Penny: The theater is above a bowling alley, so it's a little noisy, but it might be the only chance I'll ever get to play Anne Frank. And the director is brilliant. He uses the bowling sounds as, like, Nazi artillery.

Howard: It's hot in here, it must be Summer.

Raj: You fail to take into account that even mute, I am foreign and exotic. While you, on the other hand, are frail and pasty.

Leonard: This conference is kind of a big thing. The keynote address is being delivered by George Smoot.
Penny: Oh my God, the George Smoot?
Leonard: You've heard of him?
Penny: Of course I haven't.

Leonard: Wow, teasing the guys at the Apple Store seems a little redundant now.
Sheldon: I don't follow.
Leonard: I wouldn't expect you to.