Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Wolowitz: So there is a number.

Penny: Leonard, and Howard, and Raj, they aren't like other guys. They're special.
Alicia: Okay, they're special, and?
Penny: Well let's see how can I explain this. Um. They don't know how to use their shields.
Alicia: Shields?
Penny: Yeah. You know like in Star Trek and you're in battle, and you raise the shields.
*Realizing what she said* Where the hell did that come from?

Sheldon: Please. We're facing a far more serious problem than stray arachnids.
Leonard: It's not so bad.
Sheldon: Not bad? It's horrible. You hear stories about this things, but you never think it'll happen to you.
Leonard:So they steamed your dumplings. Get over it.

Sheldon: You set it on DTS, didn't you?
Leonard: I had to, she called me cutie.

Howard: Enough with the guilt, ma. We'll still see each other. I'll come over every night and have dinner with you.
Mrs. Wolowitz The hell you will! What am I running here, a fancy restaurant? Does this look like the Olive Garden?

Wolowitz: According to Alicia's Facebook page, she's hooking up with one of the producers on CSI.
Penny: Dead whore on TV, live one in real life.

Sheldon: Do those sound like castanets to you?
Leonard: The box says 'kitchen'.
Sheldon: So? Do cocaine smugglers write 'cocaine' on the box?

Howard: Okay, I get it. You're angry. You don't want to see your little bird leave the nest.
Mrs. Wolowitz Little bird? You're almost thirty. Fly, for God's sake!

Penny: Okay, did you even know the people that are moving out?
Sheldon: I never met them. That's what made them perfect. There were no awkward hellos in the halls. There's no clickety-clackety of high-heel shoes on hardwood floors. They may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape. And without that annoying ammonia urine smell.

*Penny enters the apartment without knocking*
Sheldon: Who is it? Hello, Penny. It's open, come in. Sarcasm.

Sheldon: Did you remember to ask for the chicken with broccoli to be diced, not shredded?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Even though the menu description specifies shredded?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Brown rice, not white?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: You stop at the Korean grocery and get the good hot mustard?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Did you pick up the low sodium soy sauce from the market?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Good. See how it's done, Leonard?

Raj: I like Green Lantern, I'm just saying it's pretty lame that he can be defeated by the color yellow.
Sheldon: Only the modern Green Lantern is vulnerable to yellow.
Leonard: Golden age Green Lantern was vulnerable to wood.
Raj: Great, so I can take them both out with a number-two pencil?

Sheldon: Oh, mimicry. I enjoy mimicry. I've been working on Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi. "It's a trap". You have to imagine me with a giant squid head. "It's a trap! It's a trap. It's a trap."

Howard: I'll take the apartment upstairs. I can finally get away from my mother, and we can spend some more time together, if you catch my drift.
Penny: The horror.

Sheldon: The horror!
Penny: Sheldon, I'm sure it's going to be fine.
Sheldon: No, it's not going to be fine. Change is never fine. They say it is, but it's not.