Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Wolowitz: So there is a number.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: So you can never take it (the sweater) off?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Not even to sleep?
Leonard: No.
Howard: So you're just an idiot?
Leonard: It's called proving a point.
Howard: Is the point you're an idiot?

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Penny: Leonard, and Howard, and Raj, they aren't like other guys. They're special.
Alicia: Okay, they're special, and?
Penny: Well let's see how can I explain this. Um. They don't know how to use their shields.
Alicia: Shields?
Penny: Yeah. You know like in Star Trek and you're in battle, and you raise the shields.
*Realizing what she said* Where the hell did that come from?

Sheldon: Please. We're facing a far more serious problem than stray arachnids.
Leonard: It's not so bad.
Sheldon: Not bad? It's horrible. You hear stories about this things, but you never think it'll happen to you.
Leonard:So they steamed your dumplings. Get over it.

Sheldon: You set it on DTS, didn't you?
Leonard: I had to, she called me cutie.