Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-men.

Sheldon: I see. I assume since the rest of you have set the bar so low, you're saving the most impressive contribution for last. Go on Howard, dazzle me.
Howard: Well, my power is the ability to pretend like I give a damn about your piddly-ass problem. And that's 24/7 buddy.

Sheldon: A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies "for you, no charge".

Wolowitz: Well no, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.

Sheldon: I recently had a dream that I was a giant. But everything around me was to scale so it all looked normal.
Leonard: Well, how did you know you were a giant if everything was to scale?
Sheldon: I was wearing size a million pants.

Sheldon: Question: Where are my Pants?

Sheldon: Where are my pants?
Leonard: You might wanna check out YouTube.

Raj: These methods of meditation come from the ancient gurus of India, and have helped me overcome my own fears.
Sheldon: And yet, you can't speak to women.
Raj: True, but thanks to it I am able to stay in the same room with them without urinating.

Sheldon: Hello, I know you're out there. I can hear you metabolizing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide.

Sheldon: Now to the astronomers in the audience, get ready to see the dark side of the moon. Now here's Uranus!

Sheldon: People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor. Follow me. If the children can’t run, leave them behind. Oh, the simulated horror!

Rajesh:So in Avatar, they have sex on Pandora by linking their ponytails. So their ponytails...are like their junk.
Wolowitz:Yeah, so?
Rajesh: Well when they ride the horses and birds they link their ponytails, too.
Wolowitz: What's your point?
Rajesh: My point is, if I were a horse or a bird I'd be really nervous around James Cameron.

Sheldon: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? To get to the same side. Bazinga!

Sheldon: Oh Lord, this can't be more humiliating.
Leonard: No, no, no, give him a minute.

Sheldon: What self-important preening fraud are they honoring this year?
Leonard: I'm so glad you asked it like that. You!

Raj: You own the damn thing, just take a freaking sweater.
Sheldon: I didn't turn a profit last quarter by taking product off the shelves willy-nilly.

Howard: The one thing the William Shatner of theoretical physics needed was an ego boost.

Penny: I love where you skip over the part where no one asks.

Sheldon: This alcohol is not working, I still feel dizzy.
Penny: Here, try this one.

Howard: Raj says he can teach you - what do call it? (Raj repeats it to him again.) Uh, I don't know some Indian meditation crap.

Leonard: We think we can help you with your stage fright.
Sheldon: Oh, I doubt that. I haven't figured out a way, and I'm much smarter than all of you.
Penny: Yes, but you're not smarter than all of us put together.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, that is what I meant.