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Quotes from ‘The Alien Parasite Hypothesis’
The Alien Parasite Hypothesis Amy experiences an unusual sensation in the company of Penny's ex, Zack. Meanwhile, Howard and Raj battle to find out who is the superhero and who is the sidekick in their friendship. |
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: You know, in difficult moments like this, I often turn to a force greater than myself.
Amy: Religion?
Sheldon: Star Trek.
Quote from Sheldon
Penny: Are you saying that Amy is, oh, what's the scientific word-
Sheldon: Forget science: she's horny.
Quote from Sheldon
Amy: Ears and genitalia.
Sheldon: Interesting. Not body parts that usually team up. What about environmental factors. Describe the scene for me?
Amy: I was sitting in a restaurant with Penny and Bernadette drinking water. Carbonated as it was a special occasion. Penny's friend Zack stopped by and said 'hello' and I said 'whoo'.
Sheldon: Who?
Amy: Zack.
Sheldon: Then why did you ask?
Amy: Ask what?
Sheldon: Who?
Amy: Zack.
Sheldon: All right, lets start over. What did you say when Zack walked in?
Amy: 'Whoo'.
Sheldon: Zack.
Amy: Why do you keep saying Zack?
Sheldon: Because you keep saying who?
Amy: I'm not saying 'whoo' now, I said 'whoo' last night.
Sheldon: And the answer is Zack, correct?
Amy: There was no question, I simply said 'whoo'.
Sheldon: All right I think I have enough to go on.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: What is the best number? By the way, there's only one correct answer.
Raj: 5,318,008?
Sheldon: Wrong. The best number is 73. [short silence] You're probably wondering why.
Leonard & Howard: No, no, we're good.
Sheldon: 73 is the 21st prime number, its mirror 37 is the 12th and its mirror 21 is the product of multiplying, hang on to your hats, 7 and 3. Did I lie?
Leonard: We get it. 73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers.
Sheldon: Chuck Norris wishes. In binary, 73 is a palindrome, 1001001, which backwards is 1001001, exactly the same. All Chuck Norris gets you backwards is Sirron Kcuhc.
Raj: Just for the record, when you enter 5,318,008 in a calculator, upside down it spells boobies.
Quote from Penny
Amy Farrah Fowler: Did you know the iconic heart shape isn't based on an actual human heart, its based on what a woman's rear end looks like bending over
Penny: So in 8th grade, I was dotting my i's with little asses? That's cool.
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: Twelve years after high school and I'm still at the nerd table.
Quote from Amy
Amy: I'm suddenly feeling flushed. My heart rate is elevated, my palms are clammy, my mouth is dry. In addition, I keep involuntarily saying hoo.
Penny: Oh, we know what's causing that, don't we?
Amy: It's no mystery. I obviously have the flu coupled with sudden-onset Tourette's syndrome.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Clarify something for me. Isn't the point of a communal meal the exchange of ideas and opinions, an opportunity to consider important issues of the day?
Leonard: It is. You just kinda put a damper on things when you said, 'The next person I see talking with food in their mouth will be put to death'.
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: It's what I do with Howard. I'm much smarter than he is. But it's important to protect his manhood.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Go, Amy Farrah Fowler. Follow your endocrine system.
Amy: Thank you, Sheldon. You are a good friend.
Quote from Howard
Howard: How did you get so brave all of a sudden?
Raj: It's easy. The spider's crawling up your arm.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Yes, this is doctor Sheldon Cooper. Is this the Zack Johnson that used to have coitus with my neighbour Penny? Sorry to bother you. (to different person) Hello I'm looking for a Zack Johnson that used to have coitus with my neighbour Penny. Coitus. It means intercourse and I have a feeling I'm speaking to the right Zack.
Quote from Zack Johnson
Zack: Hey, Penny, how's it going?
Penny: Hey, Zack, what are you doing here?
Zack: My dad's company prints the menus for this place. I'm just dropping off some new ones, laminated. Makes 'em easier to clean if people throw up on 'em. Guess how I got the idea?
Penny: Yeah, I got it, I got it.
Quote from Amy
Amy: If you die and donate your body to science, I promise to slice your brain like Canadian bacon.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Possible explanations for your symptoms are, in descending order of likelihood: hyperthyroidism, premature menopause, hosting an alien parasite, or, and I only include it for the sake of covering absolutely all bases, sexual arousal.
Amy: Where would I have picked up an alien parasite?
Quote from Sheldon
Penny: Isn't tomorrow your usual laundry night?
Sheldon: The supermarket was out of my regular fabric softener. If this one under or over-softens, I'll need time to make things right.
Penny: That's thinking ahead.
Sheldon: The alternative would be to think backwards. And that's just remembering.
Quote from Raj
Howard: First of all, if we had superpowers, I wouldn't be the sidekick. You'd be the sidekick.
Raj: Rat-Man is nobody's sidekick.
Quote from Penny
Penny: He just didn't really challenge me on an intellectual level.
Bernadette: Couldn't you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?
Penny: Wouldn't help. Zack couldn't even spell NPR.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: What were the symptoms?
Amy: Elevated heart rate, moist palms, dry mouth and localized vascular throbbing.
Sheldon: Localized to what region?
Amy: Ears and genitalia.
Sheldon: Interesting. Not body parts that usually team up.
Quote from Raj
Howard: Let me ask you a question. What are you afraid of?
Raj: I don't know. Um, nuclear war. Accidentally being buried alive. Any of those movies where you get that phone call that says you're going to die, and then you do.
Howard: No. Something very specific that we both know you, Rajesh Koothrappali, are terrified of.
Raj: Well, type two diabetes runs in my family. The thought of losing a toe-
Howard: Spiders! You're afraid of spiders.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: How about your follicle-stimulating hormone levels?
Amy: Sheldon, I am not going through menopause.
Sheldon: Are you sure? You said that with the testy bark of an old biddy.
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: I suppose there are worse ways to spend a Friday night. None come to mind.
Quote from Amy
Amy: Excuse me, Zack? I am Amy Farrah Fowler. We met the other night. I have spent my life in pursuit of pure knowledge. Until I met you, my decisions were founded in logic and reason. And yet here I stand before you, one hundred and thirty pounds of raging estrogen, longing to grab hold of your gluteus maximus and make Shakespeare's metaphorical beast with two backs.
Zack: My gluteus what?
Amy: On the other hand, as I look at the blank, ape-like expression on your face, I have decided to adopt the Vulcan practice of Kolinar. Goodbye, Zack.
Quote from Howard
Leonard: Remember when you were wondering why the girls didn't want to eat with us tonight?
Howard: Yeah, I get it now.