Penny: Oh, big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.
Sheldon: "Not knowing is part of the fun." Was that the motto of your community college?

Rajesh: Why so glum, chum?
Sheldon: Apparently you can't hack into a government supercomputer and then try to buy uranium without the Department of Homeland Security tattling to your mother.

Sheldon: So, you're saying this is a regulation deck?
Howard: I'm saying believe in magic, you muggle.

Leonard: Okay, uh, how do I put this? Um, are you familiar with Darwin's observation of the finches in the Galapagos Islands?
Penny: Did they make a movie about it?
Leonard: No.
Penny: Then no.

Sheldon: If you plan on having children I suggest you switch from briefs to boxers. Your testicles look a tad warm.

Sheldon: All right, pick a card.
Howard: Okay.
Sheldon: Bippity-boppity-boo.
Howard: What's with the wand and the beep?
Sheldon: The wand is called showmanship, and the beep is none of your business. Oh, excuse me, I'm getting a text message completely unrelated to this magic trick. Oh, look, my dry cleaning's ready. And your card was the five of spades. Ta-da.
Raj: These cards have bar-codes on them. The wand is a reader. It's transmitting to your phone.
Sheldon: I said, ta-da. Show's over.

Howard: Hey, Raj, wanna see a new magic trick I've been working on?
Sheldon: Howard, if I may interject here with a piece of friendly advice. Is working on magic tricks really how you want to spend your time? Granted, you're just an engineer, but that doesn't mean you might not someday build a geegaw or a thingamabob that may get you a thank you in someone else's Nobel prize acceptance speech.

Leonard: Nice to know everything's OK with your plumbing. Err, the building's plumbing.

Leonard: Hypothetically, if I had access to a lieutenant Uhura uniform, would you wear it?
Priya: Leonard, it is a source of great pain to me and my family that my brother has that outfit in his wardrobe.

Priya: It's a little weird your ex-girlfriend hanging out here all the time.
Leonard: I know. I usually never see my ex-girlfriends, unless their hard drives crash.

Sheldon: Pick a card, Sheldon. Now look at it and put it back in the deck. Now do you remember your card? Of course I do, I have an eidetic memory.

Leonard: Well, now hold on, how about this? How about we still hang out, but on the down-low?
Penny: Are you really that kind of guy?
Leonard: No. I actually felt kinda silly just saying on the down-low.

Leonard: Last night, me wanting to try that stuff out of the Kama Sutra, was that fun for you or kinda racially insensitive?
Priya: Yeah, just because you're in bed with an Indian woman, you think that gives you permission to use crazy positions from an ancient Indian love manual?
Leonard: Hey, if you can find a book called Weird Sex with White Boys, I'd be okay with that.

Priya: You have such beautiful eyes. Have you ever thought about getting contacts?
Leonard: I tried in the seventh grade. I could never get used to them.
Priya: Oh, that's too bad.
Leonard: Yeah, if I had contacts I would have been the coolest debate club president ever to be stuffed into his own cello case.

Penny: Hey, look at Leonard in his fancy-ass grownup clothes. Way to go, Priya. For once, he doesn't look like a mannequin in the boys' department.