Penny: Maybe I should just move back to Nebraska.
Amy: No, I can't let you do that.
Penny: Why not?
Amy: For the first time ever, I have a thriving social life. And no pressure, but it kind of lives and dies with you.

Raj: Well, uh, as your friend, you might like to know that, um, we didn't have sex in the conventional sense.
Penny: Oh, God. Did you pull some weird Indian crap on me?

Raj: After we got undressed and jumped in bed, you, you asked if I had protection.
Penny: Oh, you did, didn't you?
Raj: Of course. I'm always packing. Anyway, um, I had trouble putting it on and you tried to help and, that was all she wrote.
Penny: So, we didn't actually
Raj: I did. It was beautiful.

Sheldon: Okay, here we go. This is us here. To the south is Professor Loomis and the Geology Department. According to their Twitter feed, they're out of sunblock, which means they'll have to hug the tree line or risk melanoma. That's our edge. All we have to do is move quickly over this ridge, the rock-worshipping pasty-faced bastards won't know what hit them. All right, let's move out.

Leonard: Hang on, Sheldon. How could you not tell me your sister was moving back to India?
Howard: Maybe he was too busy writing clumsy penis metaphors about my fiancee.
Raj: Screw you. That was a beautifully written penis metaphor.

Leonard: You know what, guys, I'm not in the mood for paintball. What do you say we just bag it?
Howard: Fine with me.
Raj: Sure, whatever.
Sheldon: You can't quit. That’s a court-martial offense. That's punishable by … You can't quit.

Leonard: I'd like to propose a toast to the man whose noble sacrifice inspired our victory, Captain Sheldon Cooper.
Howard: Here, here.
Sheldon: Excuse me. It's Major Sheldon Cooper. With my last breath, I awarded myself a battlefield promotion. It's kind of a big deal.