Amy: The only person who signed my yearbook was my mother. "Dear Amy, self respect and a hymen are far better than friends and fun. Love, mom."

Bernadette: Good Morning, handsome.
Howard: Good morning, mom.
Bernadette: It's me!

Amy: I have a sorta kinda boyfriend at home playing with a model train, but you don't hear me bitching about it.

Leonard: It turns out she really knows how to help a guy loosen up and have a good time. Although, truth be told, my groin is a little worse for wear.
*Sheldon karate chops Leonard*
Leonard: Why did you do that?
Sheldon: To send a message: She is not for you!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Not for you!

Bernadette: (Sounding like Mrs. Wolowitz) He wants butter!

Sheldon: All these years I've been so wrong. The tinier the trains, the more concentrated the fun.

Mrs. Wolowitz Hey, if she's willing to give the milk away for free, who am I to say no?

Leonard: Well, I have some work to do, so-
Amy: I can't imagine that would disturb me. Carry on.
Leonard: Okay. Wouldn't you be more comfortable at home?
Amy: Not really, no.
Leonard: All righty then. Guess I'll just get started.
Amy: Leonard, please. I don't need the running commentary.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Frankly, after all your sleepovers with the little brown boy, a girl is a big relief!

Leonard: I just can't figure out what happened. I put my left leg in, I took my left leg out, I put my left leg in, and something just snapped.
Amy: The hokey pokey is a young man's game.

Bernadette: What are you going to get at the train store, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm not buying anything. They're having a lecture. H-O gauge railroading. Half the size of O-gauge, but twice the fun. Very controversial topic.
Howard: Which side do you come down on?
Sheldon: I'll let you know after tonight. Unlike some people, I'm going in with an open mind. Who am I kidding? Of course we all know it's O-gauge or no gauge.

Wolowitz: You have to wonder about grown men who play with toy trains.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Ha! The eagle has landed!
Howard: And we have splashdown. Wait here, I'm gonna go light a candle. And then we make passionate love.

Penny: How was the wedding?
Amy: Great. Until I accidentally made Leonard fall in love with me.
Penny: Come in, let's talk. Do you want a glass of wine?
Amy: Wine is one of the reasons I'm in this fix. That and this dang pelvis.
Penny: Okay, I'm sorry, what exactly happened?
Amy: The inevitable. He was lonely and vulnerable from missing his girlfriend, while I was charming, supportive and, let's face it, in this dress, the perfect combination of Madonna and whore.

Leonard: Aren't you going with Sheldon?
Amy: No, I have no interest in model trains, stores that sell them, nor their heartbreaking clientele.