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Quotes from ‘The Fish Guts Displacement’

The Fish Guts Displacement

'The Fish Guts Displacement' - Season 6, Episode 10

When Amy comes down with the flu, she calls on Sheldon to take care of her. Meanwhile, Howard prepares for a fishing trip with his father-in-law.

Air Date: December 6, 2012.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: You know, its a tad old-school, but my father was not one to spare the rod when my brother would sneak into his truck and drink his driving whiskey.
Amy: You want to spank me?

Quote from Amy

Amy: I don't need your medicine. I'm not really sick. I got better two days ago.
Bernadette: I don't understand.
Amy: It's been so nice having Sheldon take care of me, I just wanted that to last longer.
Bernadette: You should tell him.
Amy: I know.
Sheldon: (From the other room) Amy! Are you strong enough to bathe yourself, or do you need my help?
Amy: I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Amy's taking me to a memorial service. It's for one of her colleagues who is of Asian descent, so my planned conversational gambit is to casually remark that no matter how deep they dig his grave, he'll never make his way back to China.
Leonard: That should lighten the mood.
Sheldon: What can I say? I put the fun in the funeral.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I got the results back. Have you developed any of the following symptoms? A growing nose, or perhaps a warm sensation in the trouser region? Also known as full-blown liar, liar, pants on fire.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: So I can't wear my Silver Surfer necktie but you can wear a bathrobe?

Quote from Mike Rostenkowski

Howard: Oh boy, we're just married to a couple of ballbusters, huh, Mike?
Mike Rostenkowski: That's my wife and daughter you're talking about.
Howard: Great couple of gals.
Mike Rostenkowski: I wouldn't go that far.

Quote from Mike Rostenkowski

Howard: So, how have you been?
Mike Rostenkowski: Fine.
Howard: Good. Fine is good. How you liking retirement?
Mike Rostenkowski: It's fine.
Howard: I'm sensing a theme.

Quote from Mike Rostenkowski

Mike Rostenkowski: So, why'd you agree to come?
Howard: 'Cause Bernadette made me.
Mike Rostenkowski: I tried to back out, too. My wife said I had to go.
Howard: Really? Your wife makes you do stuff? You're a big, scary cop.
Mike Rostenkowski: You're an astronaut, and your wife makes you do things, and she's only four feet tall.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Yeah, well, my quality father-son time was spending my adolescence looking out the window waiting for my dad to come back someday.
Raj: Yeah, okay, Howard wins.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I just want you to get better as soon as possible. And with that in mind, let me ask you a question. Do you believe in the placebo effect?
Amy: Of course I do. There have been many studies proving its validity.
Sheldon: Great. Now, this may look like a Tic Tac, but it is really a powerful medication specifically designed to cure your illness as well as freshen your breath.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: However, the Spider-Man lyrics posit that Spider-Man, Spider-Man does whatever a spider can.
Howard: Yeah, so?
Sheldon: I can think of many things Spider-Man can't do that a spider can. One, crawl in your ear and die. Two, legally leave Guatemala without a passport. Three, have sex with a spider.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Oh, you like to fish?
Mike Rostenkowski: Yes.
Howard: Sure. I can hear it in your voice.
Mrs. Rostenkowski: Oh, if he didn't like it, he wouldn't go.
Howard: You know, I hadn't thought of that.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: I'm no expert, but I think the hook has to go through the worm.
Howard: Fine. Sorry, Mr. Worm. Sherm. Sherm the Worm.
Penny: Hey, don't name him. Just jab a hook in his face.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: My dad was an anthropologist. The only father-son time he spent was with a 2,000-year-old skeleton of a Etruscan boy. I hated that kid.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Can we change the subject? Spiders give me the jeebie-jeebies.
Howard: It's heebie-jeebies.
Raj: I know, but that sounds anti-Semitic.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Anyway, I was thinking we could have a little film festival tonight. The theme, movies that killed their franchises.
Leonard: Oh. Like Jaws 4, Indiana Jones 4, Daredevil 1.
Raj: Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. I mean, you know a movie's bad when my home-girl Sandy B can't save it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You know what I like to do when I'm forced to speak with those beneath my intellectual station? I bring up an interesting topic, like the difference between Spider-Man and spiders.
Howard: Thanks, Sheldon. I'll try that with my father-in-law.
Sheldon: No, you can't use that one. That's mine.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Uh, try this one for an ice-breaker. Uh, despite popular lore, there is no place in the continental United States, Alaska or Hawaii from which one can dig straight through the center of the earth and come up in China.
Howard: Great, thank you.
Sheldon: Actually, you can't have that one either. It's too good. Sorry.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: I think I'm too sick to go to the funeral.
Sheldon: You're sick? You poor kid. Well, see ya.
Amy: Sheldon, aren't you gonna take care of me?
Sheldon: Me? No. No, I'm not that kind of doctor.
Amy: But our relationship agreement clearly states that when one of us is sick, the other must take care of them.
Sheldon: Oh, no, I see the confusion. No, the intent behind that clause was to force you to take care of me when I'm ill. When you're feeling better, you'll think that's funny.

Quote from Howard

Howard: How's that dinner coming?
Bernadette: I just put it in. It's gonna be a while.
Howard: I like rare chicken. Let's do this.
Bernadette: You could die.
Howard: (To Mike) Death by chicken. That's a pretty fowl way to go.

Quote from Howard

Howard: So, Mrs. Rostenkowski, you took that trip to the Grand Canyon. How was it?
Mrs. Rostenkowski: It was good.
Howard: Had no idea you were the chatty one.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: 102.2. Exactly what it was half an hour ago. It's like you're not even trying to get better.
Amy: Sheldon, you don't get over the flu in half an hour.
Sheldon: Well, not with that attitude.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: How can you sleep? I'm not done making you feel better. I still have to put a cold rag on your head, sing to you and apply VapoRub to your chest.
Amy: You, you want to rub something on my chest?
Sheldon: Yes. All over it.
Amy: Maybe we should start with that.
Sheldon: Now you're being a responsible patient. Now, you may notice some tingling.
Amy: Oh, I'm counting on it.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: Hey, Dad, maybe you could take Howard fishing sometime. Give you guys a chance to get to know each other better.
Howard: No, no. We know each other well enough. He's been talking my ear off all night.

Quote from Raj

Howard: I've never even been fishing. This is gonna be a disaster.
Raj: If you don't want to look foolish doing something, you should practice. Do you know how many Beef Wellingtons I made by myself before I invited you guys over? I'll give you a hint. You can see them here, here and here.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Step one, worms.
Howard: Ew!
Penny: Okay, right there, "ew" is one of the things you're not gonna want to say in front of your father-in-law. It's right up there with icky and get it away. Now pick one up.
Howard: Really?
Penny: You're gonna have to do it when you're fishing.
Howard: Okay.
Penny: What are you waiting for?
Howard: I don't know, for them to die of natural causes.
Penny: Just pick up a worm and put him on this hook.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (reading) And the control group displayed significantly fewer genetic abnormalities. But, because of flaws in the experimental design relating to environment and diet, they lived inconclusively ever after. The end.

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: How's the poor thing?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm hanging in there. Thanks for asking.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Uh, I'm going to draw you a soothing bath. Where's your bath thermometer?
Amy: I don't have a bath thermometer.
Sheldon: Fine. Then I'm going to draw you a nerve-wracking bath of indeterminate temperature.

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: Okay, okay, here's the deal. I don't need your medicine. I'm not sick.
Bernadette: I don't understand.
Amy: I got better two days ago. It's just been so nice having Sheldon take care of me.
Bernadette: So you've just been lying to him?
Amy: See the stuff in my nose? Rubber cement.
Bernadette: I don't mean to be judgy, but this is the kind of thing lunatics do.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Mine just took me to his gynecology office. I got so bored, I'd put vaginal lubricant on the bottom of my shoes and pretend I was ice skating.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: It hurts that you would lie to me, Amy. I thought our relationship was based on trust and a mutual admiration that skews in my favor.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: It pains me to say it, but I think some form of penalty is in order, so as to discourage this type of behavior in the future.
Amy: I suppose that's fair. What do you suggest?
Sheldon: In a perfect world, I'd lock you in a stockade in the public square. That probably requires a permit.
Amy: I could not be allowed to go to the opening of the next Star Trek movie.
Sheldon: Oh, that seems overly harsh. I mean, you gave in to a human weakness, you didn't kill a man.

Quote from Mike Rostenkowski

Howard: So, what do we do now? They expect us to go away for the weekend.
Mike Rostenkowski: Ah. There's an Indian casino near Palm Springs. You know how to shoot craps?
Howard: No, but I'm not a stranger to dice games. I was the Temple Beth-El Hebrew School Yahtzee champion.
Mike Rostenkowski: Mazel tov. I'll teach you how to play.

Quote from Howard

Mike Rostenkowski: Hold up. Bless us, O Lord for these Thy gifts which we are about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Howard: Took the words right out of my mouth.

Quote from Mike Rostenkowski

Mike Rostenkowski: That's what you're wearing?
Howard: No good? The guy at the sporting goods store said these are what fishermen wear.
Mike Rostenkowski: Maybe in cartoons.

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