Raj: First off, know that we love you and cherish you.
Mike Rostenkowski: Well, I wouldn't go -
Bernadette: Daddy.
Mike Rostenkowski: You're great.

Leonard: Don't anthropomorphize him. He's got big eyes but his feelings are not like ours.

Raj: Ha ha, very funny. Make fun of the foreign guy. For your information, there are four times as many Indians as Americans so the way we say it is right.
Howard: Say what?
Raj: "Moose-stache".

Sheldon: Wait, is this really worth it? We've lived together for years without ne'ery an argument, but we start talking about a table and suddenly we're at each other's throats.
Leonard: Ne'ery an argument?! Ne'ery!?!
Sheldon: That means not one or not any. Maybe instead of a table you should buy a dictionary.
Sheldon: (To himself) Well, I don't know whether I won that but at least he's upset.

Raj: This (wand remote control) might be my second favorite brown magic wand.
Howard: Well, that's the last time I play with that.

Raj: I just want you to know I'm happy to look in on Bernadette while you're gone.
Howard: Thank you.
Raj: And if anything were to happen to you, we will name our first born son Howard. I'm just kidding, we'll name him Daleep after my grandfather.

Sheldon: I have spent years turning this lump of clay in to an acceptable conduit for my will. Then you came along and reshaped him with your new fangled ideas and fancy genitals.

Leonard: You're too close to it, but Amy has had a huge impact on your life.
Sheldon: You're right. Without realizing it, I have allowed that women to alter my personality.
Leonard: Sheldon, you didn't have a personality. You just had some shows you liked.

Sheldon: No, you've opened my eyes to the truth. Amy has made me a more affectionate, open-minded person. And that stops now.

Amy: He knew as your girlfriend I wasn't going to let him bring a table in to your apartment. I mean, a table? Come on!

Sheldon: Amy pointed out you were only trying to manipulate me.
Amy: Which you also figured out by yourself.
Sheldon: Which I also figured out by myself!

Howard: What's going on?
Bernadette: Maybe you should have a seat.
Howard: I know my mom's not dead, there'd be balloons.

Penny: Amy, it's Penny. Hey. Just a little heads up, Leonard bought a dining room table. Yeah, Sheldon's breaking up with you.

Sheldon: My spot on the couch has a great view of a window. Sometimes I can see space battles through it. It's called a TV.

Penny: You're a grown man. You should be able to pick whichever Hobbit you want. ... I wish you wouldn't, but one problem at a time.