Sheldon: Can I respond now?
Leonard: Do it.
Sheldon: You mess with the bull, you get the horns. I'm about to show this guy just how horny I can be.
Leonard: Somebody else do it.

Sheldon: I like it. I think you're on to something.
Leonard: Really? You're not messing with me?
Sheldon: Not at all. In fact, I have got something for just such an occasion. I was starting to think I'd never get a chance to give it to you. Good job!
Leonard: You're giving me a sticker?
Sheldon: Not just a sticker. That's a sticker of a kitty saying "Mee-wow".
Leonard: I'm not a preschooler.
Sheldon: Fine, I'll take it back.
Leonard: I earned this. Back off.

Bernadette: (In pageant video) And you should pick me for Miss. California Quiznos 1999, because I want to tell you what I want, what I really really want. I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna, really, really, be the California Quiznos 1999.

Leonard: You wrote a paper on my idea?
Sheldon: I wrote a paper on our idea.
Leonard: When did my idea become our idea?
Sheldon: When I mixed it with Sheldony goodness and cooked it in the Easy Bake oven of my mind.

Amy: Okay, that's enough.
Penny: What, no. I really want to know what happens. And Bernadette really, really, really wants to know what happens.

Howard: What are you doing?
Raj: I've created some other user accounts so I can post positive comments about their paper.
Howard: "This wee little bairn of a theory nearly blew my kilt off."
Raj: No, you have to read it like Dr. Angus McDougall of the University of Edinburgh would.
"This wee little bairn of a theory nearly blew my kilt off."

Amy: Whatever happened to that ape movie you were in?
Penny: Oh, God. Probably nothing. I think I saw the director twirling a sign outside the Verizon store.

Amy: You know there was a time when I was alone and had no friends. I'm starting to miss that.

Sheldon: The whole thing reeks of blueberry. You know I can't stand these scented markers.
Leonard: No one told you to taste them.

Leonard: This is good. Our idea is really good.
Sheldon: Well, the light bulb in this oven is ridiculously bright.

Sheldon: "My good sir. We are neither crackpots, nor wannabes. In fact, we are experts in our fields. And while you hide behind your anonymity, we stand behind our paper. And later tonight, your mother."
Leonard: You don't think that's too rough?
Sheldon: We're just standing behind her. It's not like we're gonna say "Boo!" and scare her.

Penny: You're building a particle detector using super-fluid helium.
Leonard: You know, when you talk like that, I want to take you right here on this table.
Penny: And you know from past experience, this table can not support both our weight.

Raj: I'm sick of people being mean on the Internet.
Howard: I think the anonymity makes everyone feel like they can say things they'd never say to your face.
Sheldon: Interesting. I can't think of a single thing I wouldn't say to someone's face.
Leonard: Never noticed that about you.

Leonard: Is your tongue blue?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.

Sheldon: He wrote back! "Cooper and Hofstadter resorting to juvenile attempts at humor is proof they have nothing to back up their ridiculous paper. It should come as no surprise given they work at Cal-Tech, essentially a technical school where even the physicists are basically engineers".
Oh, engineers. Do you know how insulting that is?
Howard: Yes.