Leonard: What am I supposed to do?
Penny: Err, keep your mouth off other women.

Penny: Wait, what is wrong with you two? He was talking about television during their date night.
Sheldon: Oh, not just date night. Our 5th anniversary.
Penny: Okay, see, that's even dumber than you wondering if being bitten by a goat would give you the powers of a goat.
Sheldon: If that happens, don't make me wait ten years to watch you eat a tin can.

Penny: Hey, I don't think she's wrong about you going too slow in the relationship.
Sheldon: Too slow?
Penny: Yeah, you've been going out for years. You haven't even slept together.
Sheldon: That's right. It's called foreplay.

Sheldon: Amy's mad at me, and I'm not clear why.
Penny: Okay, were you talking before she got upset?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: That's probably it.

Sheldon: But I have been getting better with sarcasm, if you want to give that a try.
Amy: *sarcastic* Oh, sure, I'd love to.
Sheldon: Whenever you're ready.

Amy: This isn't easy to say, because I love you, but... I need some time to take a step back and reevaluate our situation.
Sheldon: Oh.
Amy: I hope you understand.
Sheldon: Okay.
Amy: Bye, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, Gollum, you're an expert on rings. [Sheldon takes out an engagement ring from his desk drawer] What do I do with this one?

Bernadette: I think if Raj wants to break up with a girl, he can do it.
Howard: How are you saying that with a straight face?
Bernadette: *laughs* I don't know.

Sheldon: After all these years. I'm really happy for the two of you.
Penny: Oh, thank you.
Leonard: Thanks.
Sheldon: Now get out of my spot.

Bernadette: Maybe it's time we tell him he needs to move out.
Howard: We should have done it months ago.
Bernadette: I know, but his store was reopening, and then there were the holidays, and then he was sick.
Howard: Yeah, right, sick. He didn't have jaundice. He just looks like that.

Penny: Thanks for cooking.
Leonard: My pleasure.
Penny: That carrot was delicious.
Leonard: Yeah. I wish I'd fought harder for the rest of 'em.

Penny: Why is everyone so concerned with us setting a date? We're committed to each other. We're happy. A ceremony isn't gonna change anything.
Sheldon: So you're never getting married? It's his whining, isn't it?
Leonard: Sheldon, I'm not a whiner.
Sheldon: It's amusing that he doesn't hear it.

Sheldon: What happened?
Penny: Your buddy got mugged by some baby farm animals.
Sheldon: Been there.

Amy: Sheldon, do you understand the irony of your fixation on a man with super speed, while after five years all I can get out of you is a distracted make-out session on a couch?
Sheldon: Irony's not really my strong suit.

Sheldon: My aunt and uncle were married 63 years. Towards the end, it was like watching cheese melt.

Penny: What'd you say to her?
Sheldon: Well, I just asked her if I should start watching the new Flash TV series.
Penny: And that made her angry?
Sheldon: Baffling, right? We were necking like a couple of hooligans under the school bleachers. I stopped so I could ask the question. Next thing I know, good-bye, kissy face. Hello, yelly face.

Emily: Makes you feel alive, doesn't it?
Raj: So does enjoying a meal at a well-lit restaurant, but here we are.

Sheldon: I shouldn't have asked so many questions.
Penny: No, it's okay.
Leonard: Yeah, maybe it's good you got us talking about this stuff.
Sheldon: Well, look at that. Even when I'm causing problems, I make the world a better place.

Stuart: I don't want to rush you, but I'm closing a little early tonight.
Raj: Ooh, hot date?
Stuart: Uh, no. I overheard Bernadette tell Howard she was making him a meatloaf, and you don't have to not ask me twice.

Emily: You aren't scared, are you?
Raj: Of ghosts, no. Of you, little bit.

Emily: If I stick a light bulb on this, will it make a great lamp for my bedroom?
Raj: You're kidding, right?
Emily: Oh, is this freaking you out?
Raj: I guess I'm just more of a Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel kind of guy. Maybe Pier 1 if I really want to cut loose.

Bernadette: Well, you've been living here a while now.
Stuart: I know. I may sell comic books at work, but the real superheroes are sitting right in front of me.
Bernadette: Yeah...
Howard: His middle name is David. Go.

Raj: I don't know, guys. Maybe this relationship isn't for me. Maybe I should break up with her.
Howard: Right. You're gonna break up with a girl who has sex with you. Can you believe this guy?

Penny: Look, I'm not happy this happened, but I think I can get past it. I mean, we weren't engaged at the time, and it was just kissing.
Leonard: Right. Just kissing. It wasn't even very good. She was a smoker. I'd just been seasick...
Penny: Okay, that's enough. Stop talking.

Sheldon: Oh, good. You're here. I need your assistance.
Leonard: Can it wait until I put a Band-Aid on a goat bite?

Bernadette: Did you eat all my yoghurt?
Howard: You mean the one that makes ladies do the thing that ladies pretend they don't do even though they do?
Bernadette: You know... which yoghurt I mean.

Leonard: I'm going to guess that your main concern is the time commitment of watching an entire season of a new show.
Sheldon: Oh, no, not just a season. If I'm in, I'm in for the whole run, even if the quality declines.
Leonard: I get it. Smallville almost wrecked you.
Sheldon: Exactly. You know, I waited ten years to see a guy everyone knows can fly, fly.

Sheldon: Hey, next, why don't we tackle your penchant for whining and Penny's love of the old glug-glug?

Raj: Baloney, okay? You two are as afraid of hurting someone's feelings as I am.
Bernadette: That's not true. We were just laughing right in your face.

Emily: It's a beautiful night.
Raj: Oh, yes, we've got the moon and the trees and Elizabeth McNulty, who apparently died when she was the same age I am.

Leonard: Okay. Well, then it's settled: small indoor church wedding, black-tie, no butterflies.
Penny: Sounds perfect.
Leonard: Great.
Sheldon: You still didn't pick a date.
Penny: Stay out of it!
Leonard: Shut up!

Penny: All right, well, I want it in a church.
Leonard: Fine. I want black-tie.
Penny: Fine. I want to release butterflies.
Sheldon: Seriously? Airborne worms?

Leonard: It's not just the date. We haven't talked about anything. Big wedding, small wedding, indoor, outdoor...
Sheldon: Outdoor? Oh. I can RSVP no right now.

Leonard: So... we're still getting married?
Penny: Yes.
Leonard: Because we love each other.
Penny: Yes.
Leonard: And it's the happiest day of our lives.
Penny: *short laugh* Don't push it.

Howard: When he gets home, I'm dropping the hammer.
Bernadette: Ooh, I like when you take charge.
Howard: Oh, I'm not taking charge. You're the hammer.

Penny: Still haven't heard from her?
Sheldon: No, and I'm confused. It's been nearly 24 hours. Amy should have figured out she's wrong by now.

Raj: You're one to talk. You've been complaining about Stuart living here for the past year. I don't see you showing him the door.
Howard: That's not the same thing. Emily's a person. Stuart's more like an infestation, something you spray for.

Stuart: I felt bad for finishing your yoghurt, so I bought more. And, Howard, your favourite fruit is in season. Crunch Berries.
Bernadette: Don't let that sway you.
Howard: It's hard not to. They taste so much better than real berries.

Leonard: I can do that. From now on, this mouth, you and food. That's it.

Raj: Look, I care about you a lot, but we are very different people.
Emily: Are you breaking up with me?
Raj: No, no, I'm just pointing out that you're dark on the inside and I'm dark on the outside.

Amy: I didn't kill anything. You did, talking about your stupid TV show.
Sheldon: Excuse me. Starting to watch a television show that might run for years isn't a decision to take lightly. I'm wrestling with a big commitment issue here.
Amy: Really? That's the commitment issue you're wrestling with?

Bernadette: The only issue is that everybody has their own thing. And as long as it's two consenting adults, I guess I don't see the harm in it.
Raj: Well, what if it's one consenting adult and one adult who pretends to consent because he's afraid of being alone?
Bernadette: Well, then I guess bring a blanket. The grass gets damp at night.

Raj: You guys ever notice that Emily has a bit of a twisted side?
Bernadette: You mean 'cause she has weird tattoos?
Raj: No, because she wants to have sex with me in a graveyard.

Raj: Hey, you should totally get it. In fact, I'll buy it for you.
Stuart: Sold!
Emily: Raj, you don't have to do that.
Stuart: Too late! No returns!

Penny: And you know what the best part is? We took our time. I mean, we met, we were friends for a couple years, then we got together, and then we got untogether, then we worked out all our problems, and now we know everything about each other, we can just go forward with no surprises and no regrets.
Leonard: Right. No surprises.
Penny: And no regrets.

Leonard: So why haven't we picked a date?
Penny: You know why.
Leonard: Well, of course I know why. But just for fun... why?
Penny: Not in a rush, busy with work...
Sheldon: Things are good right now.
Penny: Really good.

Penny: Wow, there's a Denny's in Vegas you can actually get married in.
Leonard: Doesn't sound very romantic.
Penny: Yeah, but we could get heart-shaped pancakes.

Emily: Look, Raj, be honest with me. If you want to end things, just do it. Don't expect me to do it for you.
Raj: End things? I'm trying to tell you that I love you.

Bernadette: Howard Joel Wolowitz, you get back here.
Howard: *quietly* Never should have told you my middle name.

Sheldon: Anyway...
*leans in to kiss Amy, but gets pushed away*
Amy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: You're right, you did kind of kill the mood.

Penny: Well, Sheldon, when you're kissing a girl, she expects the attention to be on her.
Sheldon: It was. I asked her if she thought I should watch The Flash.

*Stuart's phone rings*
Howard: You need to take that?
Stuart: It's just my dad, probably calling to wish me a happy birthday. I'll call him back. You were saying?

Amy: Being your girlfriend is so challenging. Emotionally, physically. I've been incredibly patient for years.
Sheldon: Strongly disagree. Go on.

Leonard: That was really intense.
Penny: Well, now we know, next time we go to the farmers' market, the order is petting zoo first, then buy vegetables.

Howard: Bernie, Stuart just pulled up. So remember, the key is to be firm. Show no weakness.
Bernadette: Right.
Howard: Good luck.

Penny: Sheldon, we're getting married.
Sheldon: But you've been engaged for over a year now, and you don't even have a wedding date.
Penny: Well, we will. We're just not in a rush.
Sheldon: Okay.
Leonard: We're gonna set a date.
Sheldon: Okay. If you say so.
Penny: Yeah, it's just, things are good right now.
Leonard: Really good.
Penny: I'm focusing on my job.
Leonard: And we've been busy with our paper.
Penny: So busy.
Leonard: Yeah, we'll pick a date when we pick a date.
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: Okay.
Penny: You know, I can see why Amy's mad at you!
Leonard: Yeah, shut up, Sheldon!

Penny: Um, I'm free tonight.
Leonard: Are you saying you want to get married?
Penny: Vegas isn't that far away.
Leonard: I'm in. Let's do it.