Amy: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: Are you feeling any better?
Sheldon: Physically, yes, but I'm upset because everyone's mad at me for no good reason.
Amy: Why don't you tell me what happened, and in a gentle, loving way, I'll explain to you why you're wrong.

Sheldon: Good. Then I'll be leaving now.
Emily: Oh, it's okay, Sheldon. Come with us.
Sheldon: Oh, that's very kind of you. But I'm sure you'll all have a better time without me. Let's go, Stuart.
Stuart: But I want to stay.
Sheldon: Stuart, now!

Sheldon: Raj, you were being a good friend, and my illness was no excuse for my behavior. I hope that you can accept my apology.
Raj: Of course I do.
Sheldon: And, Emily, I'm sorry for saying dermatologists aren't real doctors. And I'm sure you're tired of hearing that.
Emily: Do you honestly think I hear that a lot?
Sheldon: Well, I would imagine when your job is popping zits and squirting Botox into old lady faces-
Raj: Okay! Okay, the point is that we accept your apology.
Emily: Uh, maybe you do. He just insulted me again.
Raj: Yeah, but he doesn't mean it.
Emily: Why are you defending him?
Sheldon: I believe I can answer that. Uh, like me, Raj is demonstrating empathy.
Now, why don't you accept my apology, receive your free T-shirt, uh-- I hope extra small is okay. For some reason Wolowitz took a medium.

Leonard: You think they'll still go on the trip?
Sheldon: All I know is after the fight I went to Emily's to smooth-
Leonard: They're not going on the trip.
Penny: No.

Penny: And now Ben Affleck is Batman?
Emily: Oh, he was great in Shakespeare in Love.
Penny: Ooh, we should watch that next girls' night.
Bernadette: We could do a double feature with the Leonardo DiCaprio Romeo + Juliet.
Penny: Oh, I love me some Leo.
Leonard: And it's gone.

Sheldon: I had a 101 fever. If that's not a time to verbally abuse my loved ones, when is?
Amy: Sheldon, when you're sick, you can be unbearable. That's why your friends have been known to work late or sneak out to the movies or stay at a neurobiology conference three days after it's ended.
Sheldon: You stayed in Michigan all week to avoid being around me?
Amy: No, no, not just that. I mean Detroit is beautiful when it's sleeting.

Raj: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Hey. Where's Sheldon? Still sick?
Leonard: No, he's fine. We just needed a little break.
Stuart: Yeah, I get that. When I brought him his comics the other day, he said, "Oh, great, Death is literally at my door." He was being a jerk to everyone. Don't take it personally.
Stuart: Oh, I'm on so many antidepressants, I couldn't if I wanted to.

Sheldon: Can you believe they planned a trip to Las Vegas and didn't invite me?
Amy: Did you refuse to apologize and act like they were stupid for being mad?
Sheldon: You know, I liked it better when there was still a little mystery left in our relationship.
Amy: Everyone tried to take care of you, and you were nothing but mean to them.
Sheldon: I can't believe you're not on my side. I was on your side when someone stole your car radio.
Amy: Who else's side could you have been on?
Sheldon: I don't know. A music-loving hobo with a heart of gold?

Amy: Sheldon, I understand that you're upset because you feel left out, but I don't know why we're even talking about this. Just apologize to them.
Sheldon: Fine, if that's what it takes to go on their dumb trip.
Amy: Maybe you could try apologizing because you actually feel bad. It's called empathy. It's something you could work on.
Sheldon: I have empathy. Watch. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him.
Amy: Great. Now try it as if this isn't your first day as a person.
Sheldon: Fine. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him. Hey, I felt a little something. Let me try again. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him. I was mean to him. He must have felt terrible. Oh, now I feel terrible.
Amy: Neat! Glad I could help.

Sheldon: Okay, here it comes. You tried to take care of me when I was sick, and I was mean to you. There's no excuse for that. And I'm truly sorry.
Leonard: Thank you. I appreciate that.
Sheldon: I want you to know that that is sincere. I do feel bad. I'm not just saying it to be included on your trip.
Leonard: Appreciate that, too.
Sheldon: Terrific. Now all that's left is for you to invite me to come. Me to ask, "Are you sure?" You to say, "Absolutely." And then me to bring it home with, "How could I say no to that face?"
Leonard: You're still not coming.
Sheldon: What? But I apologized and I meant it. I know that we don't play this game very often, but you're doing it wrong.
Leonard: Sheldon, I accept your apology, but you upset a lot of people while you were sick. I'm not in a position to just say you can come.
Sheldon: Well, all right. What if I apologize to all of them?
Leonard: Fine, if you apologize to everyone, they all say it's okay, then yes, you can come.
Sheldon: Challenge accepted! Sounds like it's time for the Sheldon Cooper Apology Tour.
Leonard: Well, I hope it's as much fun as the Sheldon Cooper Spell-Checks Local Menus Tour.
Sheldon: My goodness! Do you remember "comes with apsparagus"?

Sheldon: Howard and Bernadette, you tried to comfort me when I was ill, and I treated you terribly. I'm sorry.
Howard: Wow. I'm impressed.
Sheldon: No, no, no, wait. I'm not done. Allow me to underscore my sentiment with a haunting rendition of Brenda Lee's "I'm Sorry" played on the pan flute.
Howard: Apology accepted!
Bernadette: Forgiven, forgiven!
Sheldon: All right, that's eight hours of practice down the drain.

Penny: You couldn't give us just one weekend?
Stuart: I told him this was a bad idea.

Leonard: Come on, you pain in the ass!
Sheldon: That's me! Bye, Stuart.
Stuart: Wait! I'm a pain in the ass, too!

Sheldon: You know how, when you're sick, you're allowed to be cranky and say whatever you want and other people's feelings don't matter?
Amy: Ooh. Gentle and loving. This is gonna be tricky.

Bernadette: I brought you a little care package from work. It's our latest antiviral and the best decongestant we make.
Sheldon: I hope laughter is the best medicine, 'cause this care package is a joke.
Howard: Hey, she came all the way here- (Sheldon sneezes on Howard)
Bernadette: (Handing Howard the care package) You're gonna want to take these with food.