Bernadette: I brought you a little care package from work. It's our latest antiviral and the best decongestant we make.
Sheldon: I hope laughter is the best medicine, 'cause this care package is a joke.
Howard: Hey, she came all the way here- (Sheldon sneezes on Howard)
Bernadette: (Handing Howard the care package) You're gonna want to take these with food.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Amy: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: Are you feeling any better?
Sheldon: Physically, yes, but I'm upset because everyone's mad at me for no good reason.
Amy: Why don't you tell me what happened, and in a gentle, loving way, I'll explain to you why you're wrong.

Sheldon: Good. Then I'll be leaving now.
Emily: Oh, it's okay, Sheldon. Come with us.
Sheldon: Oh, that's very kind of you. But I'm sure you'll all have a better time without me. Let's go, Stuart.
Stuart: But I want to stay.
Sheldon: Stuart, now!

Sheldon: Raj, you were being a good friend, and my illness was no excuse for my behavior. I hope that you can accept my apology.
Raj: Of course I do.
Sheldon: And, Emily, I'm sorry for saying dermatologists aren't real doctors. And I'm sure you're tired of hearing that.
Emily: Do you honestly think I hear that a lot?
Sheldon: Well, I would imagine when your job is popping zits and squirting Botox into old lady faces-
Raj: Okay! Okay, the point is that we accept your apology.
Emily: Uh, maybe you do. He just insulted me again.
Raj: Yeah, but he doesn't mean it.
Emily: Why are you defending him?
Sheldon: I believe I can answer that. Uh, like me, Raj is demonstrating empathy.
Now, why don't you accept my apology, receive your free T-shirt, uh-- I hope extra small is okay. For some reason Wolowitz took a medium.