Sheldon: Raj, now, I'm sorry you're suffering. When Amy and I were broken up, I also suffered. And this may sound surprising, but I'm grateful for having gone through it.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: Yes. I believe our relationship now is stronger than ever.
Amy: So do I.
Sheldon: When we were apart, I learned how important you are to me. And I realize that when two people are in love, sometimes they-

Sheldon: Did you know the singular of confetti is "confetto"?
Amy: Interesting, and when would you use the singular?
Sheldon: I'm glad you asked. Amy, you have a confetto in your nose. No, no, no, no. Other side. There you go.

Amy: Consider tonight's episode a Valentine's Day gift for you, our viewers.
Sheldon: It's also my gift to you. That was clear, right? 'Cause you're not getting anything else.

Amy: I have an idea. Maybe someone in our audience would be interested in meeting Rajesh. Ladies, I can attest that he is a kind, handsome, intelligent -
Raj: Rich parents! Don't forget, rich parents!
Amy: -spoiled astrophysicist who not only...

Bernadette: If you're really worried, we'll take him to the vet and have him tested. Good.
Howard: Thank you. Oh, okay, there is a test! All they have to do is ... cut off his head and check his brain.
Bernadette: Oh, cut off his head? That's where his little nose is.

Sheldon: Raj?
Raj: Spending Valentine's Day with Emily.
Leonard: You don't sound very excited about it.
Raj: Oh, I am, I am. I g... I guess I'm still wondering if Emily and I are right for each other.
Howard: Does this have to do with that girl you had coffee with?
Raj: You mean the strong, sexy angel I can't stop thinking about? Who can say?

Penny: So, you really gonna break up with her?
Raj: Yeah, I think so. Do you have any advice?
Penny: Well, I have broken up with my fair share of guys. I mean, how many times did I break up with Leonard?
Leonard: I stopped counting at four.

Amy: Okay, and we are live in 22 minutes.
Sheldon: I'm nervous. I hope people will be around to watch even though it's Valentine's Day.
Amy: People who are fans of an Internet show about flags? Trust me, they're around.

Leonard: Uh, bad news. The matre D' said it's gonna be at least an hour.
Penny: An hour? What? That's crazy. We have a reservation.
Leonard: I know.
Penny: So what did you say?
Leonard: "Thanks, sorry to bother you." But I said it like a badass.
Penny: All right, well, can't you, like, slip him some money or something?
Leonard: Really? I've never done that before. Does it work?
Penny: Do people like money - is that what you're asking?
Leonard: A lot of attitude from the woman who thought MC squared was a rapper.
Penny: Now, is that a smart thing to say on a holiday that's basically national sex night?
Leonard: I'm sorry. You're pretty, I'm stupid.

Amy: Rajesh, it's perfectly normal to have doubts after breaking up with someone.
Raj: Well, you really think so?
Sheldon: Yeah, you know what's not normal? Blubbering about emotions during a flag show. Unless that emotion is excitement over New Zealand changing their flag. Yeah, good luck, you crazy Kiwis, we're rooting for you.

Sheldon: Please, all comments and questions should be flag-related.
Barry Kripke: All right. Is my pole flag-related?
Sheldon: I don't see why not.

Howard: Sorry, Bernie and I are breaking in the new hot tub, if you know what I mean.
Sheldon: Not a clue.

Raj: No, Sheldon's right. Emily did say I always talk about my feelings too much.
Sheldon: I suppose that could be a legitimate concern in a relationship. Uh, perhaps even a red flag. And speaking of red flags, check out this sexy number from the former Soviet Union. Hubba, hubba.

Howard: Son of a bitch! He bit me!
Bernadette: Are you okay?
Howard: No, I'm not okay! Wild rabbits can have rabies!
Bernadette: Oh. Well, why did you put your finger near its mouth?
Howard: Poor judgment, obviously.
Bernadette: He's so little. I'm sure it's fine.
Howard: How can it be fine? I just got attacked by a clearly anti-Semitic wild animal.

Howard: Um, "taking care of an injured rabbit." Okay, make sure it's comfortable and warm. Well, it was just in a hot tub. I'm gonna say check.