Bernadette: If you're really worried, we'll take him to the vet and have him tested. Good.
Howard: Thank you. Oh, okay, there is a test! All they have to do is ... cut off his head and check his brain.
Bernadette: Oh, cut off his head? That's where his little nose is.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Sheldon: Oh, and speaking of Valentine's Day, I haven't forgotten about you tonight.
Amy: What do you mean?
Sheldon: Well, you've become such an integral part of my life as well as this show, I felt it only right to include your name in the title.
Amy: Oh, that is so sweet.
Sheldon: So from now on, this program will be officially known as Dr. Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler present Dr. Sheldon Cooper's Fun With Flags.
Amy: Catchy.

Raj: But, Amy, when you and Sheldon split up, didn't you start dating someone right away? Amy: Well, I ... I wouldn't say right away.
Sheldon: And actually, it was three different men.
Barry Kripke: Three different men?! Damn, girl, way to give the milk away!

Amy: Since we're live, you'll finally be able to reach out to us with your flag thoughts and flag questions.
Sheldon: Allow us to answer a few quick ones that we get all the time. Uh, yes, I really am a doctor. Uh, yes, she really is my girlfriend.
Amy: No, I just blink a lot, it's not Morse code for "rescue me."