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Quote from Penny in the episode The VCR Illumination

Penny: Okay, Sheldon and Amy are still pretty upset about their theory being disproved.
Leonard: So we have made a list of subjects for everyone to avoid.
Penny: Symmetry.
Leonard: Asymmetry.
Penny: Uh, SimCity, sounds too much like symmetry.
Leonard: That also applies to The Simpsons, Simba from The Lion King, and cymbals.
Penny: Russia or Russian in any context. The country, the dressing, the roulette.

Quote from Howard in the episode The VCR Illumination

Leonard: Uh, also no talk of Rocky IV.
Bernadette: Why Rocky IV?
Howard: Because he fights a Russian. I'm sorry about her.

Quote from Howard in the episode The VCR Illumination

Penny: We should just try and avoid anything that makes them think of their project or science or Nobel Prizes or successes or failures.
Amy: Hi.
Leonard: Hi!
Penny: Hey, guys.
Raj: Hey!
Amy: What are you guys doing?
Bernadette: Nothing.
Sheldon: Nothing? Like what my career has come to? Thanks a lot.
Howard: Nice going.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The VCR Illumination

Amy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Eating, reading, watching television, listening to the radio. What does it look like I'm doing?
Amy: Is that asparagus? I thought you hate asparagus.
Sheldon: I thought so, too, but I also thought super-asymmetry was a good idea, so what else am I wrong about?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The VCR Illumination

Amy: Oh, so now you're reevaluating every opinion you've ever had?
Sheldon: Yes. I am following the example of 17th century philosopher René Descartes.
He subjected all his beliefs to radical doubt so that he could build a bedrock belief and build his cognitive life back up on firm principles. [eating asparagus] Ugh! Still yucky, still yucky.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The VCR Illumination

Amy: Sheldon, I know you're upset about the paper, okay. I'm upset, too.
Sheldon: I mean, I was so sure we were right. Every fiber of my being felt like this was it. This was the one. How can I trust my instincts anymore?
Amy: Well, just because our theory was wrong, that doesn't mean you're wrong about everything.
Sheldon: Doesn't it? I've always thought I hated jazz, maybe I was wrong. Maybe it's great to hear all the notes at once. [music plays] I'm trying, I'm really trying!

Quote from Leonard in the episode The VCR Illumination

Penny: What you eating?
Leonard: Chicken fried steak.
Penny: What? You can't have chicken fried steak first thing in the morning.
Leonard: Hey, you knew I was a bad boy when you married me. Come on, you want a piece of this?
Penny: You or the steak?
Leonard: Me. I'm not sharing the steak.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The VCR Illumination

Amy: I'm really worried about Sheldon. I've never seen him this down.
Penny: Have you tried making him a cup of tea?
Amy: He's reevaluated tea. Now he thinks it's nothing but leaf soup.
Leonard: That's a good point.
Penny: No, it's not.
Leonard: No, it's not.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The VCR Illumination

Leonard: I have something that might help. It's-it's a recording of the only person whose opinion Sheldon actually respects.
Amy: Hawking? Feynman?
Leonard: No, himself.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The VCR Illumination

Leonard: It's a pep talk he made when he was a kid. He gave it to me years ago and told me to save it for a real emergency.
Penny: What? You didn't break it out when he declared his room a sovereign nation and waged a trade war against us?
Leonard: His major export is talking. I didn't want that anyway.

Quote from Howard in the episode The VCR Illumination

Bernadette: Is that a VCR?
Howard: Yeah, Amy asked if we had one she could borrow and I just want to make sure it still works.
Bernadette: What's on the tape?
Howard: Not sure. I used to record a lot of Jeopardy! for my mom, but if I push play and you see some naked people-
Bernadette: Got it. "What is porn?"
Howard: Ooh, we were looking for "vintage '80s erotica," but I'll accept it.

Quote from Howard in the episode The VCR Illumination

Bernadette: Put it back on. You look adorable.
Howard: It's just a practice tape from when I was trying to become a member of the Magic Castle.
Bernadette: I didn't know you auditioned there.
Howard: Oh, I never went through with it. I watched the tape and realized I wasn't good enough. You know that trick where you saw a mannequin in half?
Bernadette: Don't you mean a lady?
Howard: Thank God it was not a lady. I'd just be getting out of jail.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The VCR Illumination

Bernadette: Come on, you're a good magician.
Howard: Really? You always called magic dumb.
Bernadette: You can be good at something dumb.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The VCR Illumination

Bernadette: You know what, you should audition now.
Howard: It's fine. I don't need to be a member of the most elite magical society on the face of the earth.
Bernadette: Sounds like you still want it. And I don't want our kids to watch this tape one day and think their dad is a quitter.
Howard: Oh, we don't have to show it to them.
Bernadette: Oh, I'm definitely showing it to them.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The VCR Illumination

Amy: Hey.
Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: "Fine with flags"?
Sheldon: Yes, flags, up there flapping around on poles. If you think about it, they're just the strippers of the emblem world.

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