Howard: So, bottom line, what you did was wrong and cruel, which the mother of my children finds oddly appealing.
Amy: So she still wants to be my maid of honor?
Howard: Maid of honor, hit woman, whatever you need. Make the call.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Penny: Look, I know this is your wedding, and you can do whatever you want, but if you think anyone but me is gonna be your maid of honor, then you're an idiot because you are my best friend.
Howard: Too late, Bernade-
Amy: (pushes Howard out of the way, rushes to hug Penny) Bestie!

Sheldon: Did Bernadette even try to send us a sewing kit?
Amy: She did. Amazon, standard shipping, not even Prime.
Sheldon: (gasps) We could've done that ourselves.
Amy: (chuckles) That's what she said.

Penny: What did you need the kit for?
Amy: Oh, um Sh-Sheldon was squatting down to pick up a fork and he ripped his pants.
Penny: Oh, someone's gonna be sore tomorrow.