Leonard: Sheldon is not gonna be happy about this.
Howard: Well, he's gonna be less happy about this: "The super-asymmetric model is inherently flawed and does not bear the weight of further examination."
Leonard: Hmm. So this disproves their theory?
Howard: Sounds like it.
Leonard: Oh, how are we gonna tell him?
Howard: That's easy. Just go up to him and say, "Sheldon, Raj has something to tell you."

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Bernadette: Hey, Denise. Is Stuart here?
Denise: Oh, no. Doctor's appointment.
Bernadette: Oh, is he okay?
Denise: Not since I've known him.

Sheldon: You know we're almost finished with our paper; we just need help tracking down the citations.
Leonard: That's busywork. Can't you just get a grad student to do it?
Amy: No, this paper is incredibly important to us, and we need someone we can trust.
Please, it would mean a lot.
Leonard: You know what? Sure. The three of us in the library looking up old papers, that actually could be kind of fun.
Sheldon: Oh, no, we won't be there.
Leonard: It just got more fun.

Sheldon: I suppose you're wondering why I put you through all this.
Leonard: You mean the last two minutes or the last 20 years?