Sheldon: Uh, can you believe this? Doctors Pemberton and Campbell have been doing a press tour trying to take credit for super-asymmetry. They didn't even know what they were finding.
Raj: So what? I mean, no one's gonna give them credit for accidentally discovering something.
Howard: Yeah, who remembers the guy who was trying to find India and discovered America instead? What was his name again?

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Sheldon: Oh, but don't worry. I won't do that to you.
Amy: Maybe you should.
Sheldon: What?
Amy: This has been your lifelong dream. And you may not get another chance. I don't want to be the reason that you don't win a Nobel.
Sheldon: You're the only reason I deserve one.

Bernadette: Look at Howard. He was a disaster when I met him. Now he's a foxy astronaut with a hot wife.
Raj: Wait, he always wanted to be an astronaut.
Bernadette: He thinks that, too. That's how good I am.

Penny: No, it's not that.
Bernadette: Then why?
Penny: Honestly, I don't know if I'm up to it. You know, the last project I managed was my high school yearbook.
Bernadette: And?
Penny: And that was the year we didn't have one. - And? And that was the year we didn't have one. Apparently, the printers won't make them without getting paid.
Bernadette: What happened to the money?
Penny: Uh, if I didn't know then, I'm not going to magically know now.