Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: So you can never take it (the sweater) off?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Not even to sleep?
Leonard: No.
Howard: So you're just an idiot?
Leonard: It's called proving a point.
Howard: Is the point you're an idiot?

Penny: Howard, cow tipping - real or not?
Howard: I'm going to say not. That's just based on me trying to roll my mom over when she's snoring.

Raj: Oh, the movie's not as bad as you thought?
Penny: No, it is. But I decided instead of complaining about it, I'm going to go in every day and give it my all.
Amy: Good for you.
Penny: Thanks. There's no reason why I shouldn't be the best bi-sexual, go-go dancer, slowly transforming into a killer gorilla, anyone's ever seen.

Leonard: Oh, I know. This might help. *Gets a ring out of his wallet*
Penny: Where did you get a ring?
Leonard: I've had it for a couple of years. Not important. Penny, will you marry me?
Penny: Oh, my God, yes.
Leonard: This would have been so much more romantic if you didn't have monkey hair on your finger.

Bernadette: I'm glad I got that mocha. And you know what else I'm glad about? I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car!