Stuart: But this could be really good for me, you know? Finally get my artwork published. And-and come on, it's a, it's a cute story.
Howard: Oh, easy for you to say. No one's gonna think you're a coward.
Stuart: Are you kidding? The other day in the comic book store, a balloon popped and I threw up.

Stuart: Oh, Sheldon, I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong.
Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.
Stuart: Of course it is. It's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge.

Howard: Hang on, I know a place where you could you stay and earn some money at the same time.
Stuart: Great!
Howard: I just have to warn you: it will involve humiliation, degradation and verbal abuse.
Stuart: So, what's the catch?

Bernadette: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: *startled* Hey.
Bernadette: Sorry, did I startle you?
Stuart: Yes, but at this point pretty much any customer does.

President Siebert: Look, it doesn't matter if they have popular support, we're gonna get the scientific community behind us.
Leonard: He's right, the Nobel Prize is about the work, and as your fellow scientists, we support you and Amy.
President Siebert: That's great, Scooby Gang.

President Siebert: Dr. Cooper, there you are. I just wanted to tell you not to worry about this Pemberton and Campbell publicity blitz.
Sheldon: Are you worried?
President Siebert: Not at all. Not even a little bit. [manic laugh]

Sheldon: Look at this. They posted another video. It's not even about science. They're on a celebrity bus tour.
Raj: Those are fun. I went on one and saw Tom Hanks talking to his gardener. He's even nice when you plant the wrong color azaleas.