Sheldon: Why does Leonard get to go?
Wolowitz: Because he's upset over his situation with Penny, and if I have to hear about it again, I'm gonna kick him in his ovaries!
Leonard: Thanks for understanding.
Howard: I've got your back, sister!

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: So you can never take it (the sweater) off?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Not even to sleep?
Leonard: No.
Howard: So you're just an idiot?
Leonard: It's called proving a point.
Howard: Is the point you're an idiot?

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

Howard: Hey, you want to make sure he gets nowhere with Penny without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?
Leonard: I'm listening.
Howard: Just tell him to do everything you've done with her for the last two years.

Howard: Okay make your little jokes, but out of the four of us, I'm the only one who's making real world contribution to science and technology.
Rajesh: He's right, this is an important achievement for two reasons. Number one and of course number two!

Howard: Ok, now, this is an exact duplicate of The Wolowitz Solid Waste Disposal System, as deployed on the International Space Station.
Raj: Don't you mean the Wolowitz Solid Waste Distribution System?