Raj: (Talking about Howard) Oh, if only I had his confidence. I have such difficulty speaking to women, or around women, or at times even effeminate men.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Raj: Okay, here we go. [to Leonard & Penny] Say cheese. [to Sheldon & Amy] Say cheese. [to Howard & Bernadette] Say cousin.

Leonard: Homo habilis discovering his opposable thumbs says what?
Kurt: What?

Leonard: I call Frodo!
Sheldon, Raj, and Howard: Damn!

Leonard: We all have other costumes, we can change.
Raj: Or we could walk right behind each other all night. It'll look like one person going really fast.