Raj: Okay, what shall be the first to taste the wrath of MONTE?
Leonard: Maybe we should start small.
Raj: Okay, oh, perhaps today is the day we finally find out what's inside the Magic 8 Ball.
Sheldon: Did it when I was 4. It's an icosahedral die floating in tinted blue water.
Raj: Man, call spoiler alert before you say things like that.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Raj: Okay, here we go. [to Leonard & Penny] Say cheese. [to Sheldon & Amy] Say cheese. [to Howard & Bernadette] Say cousin.

Barry Kripke: We're all pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls. That's why we fight robots.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Want me to get you a popsicle?
Howard: Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.
Howard: You make me wanna kill myself!

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, there's a blonde girl, Patsy, here to see you.
Howard: Who?
Mrs. Wolowitz Okay, now she's saying it's Penny.