Barry Kripke: We're all pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls. That's why we fight robots.

Amy: Hi. You're on Fun with Flags.
Barry Kripke: Hello. I want to talk about how lonely I am, too.
Raj: Kripke? Is that you?
Barry Kripke: Yeah, I'm just sitting here all by myself wondering if I'll ever find someone to share my life with. Preferably Asian, 18-24, no fatties.

Sheldon: No, that's okay. I can fight my own battles. Isn't that right, Bawwy?
Barry Kripke: Is that a reference to my speech impediment? That's pretty hurtful. I can't control it.
Sheldon: You're right. That was uncalled for. I take it back.
Barry Kripke: Of course you do, because you're The Retractor!

Barry Kripke: Yes, yes, yes. He's a jolly good fellow. What time do the strippers arrive?

Mrs. Wolowitz: Want me to get you a popsicle?
Howard: Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.
Howard: You make me wanna kill myself!

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, there's a blonde girl, Patsy, here to see you.
Howard: Who?
Mrs. Wolowitz Okay, now she's saying it's Penny.

Wolowitz: The way I see it, I'm halfway to pity sex.