Leonard: Remember the day we first met and you asked me to go to your boyfriend's apartment to get your TV back? And he was 9 feet tall and he took my pants off and you said- What was that? What did you say? Oh, yes, you said you owed me one.
Penny: Oh, come on, that's not fair.
Leonard: I came home with no pants.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Barry Kripke: We're all pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls. That's why we fight robots.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Want me to get you a popsicle?
Howard: Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.
Howard: You make me wanna kill myself!

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, there's a blonde girl, Patsy, here to see you.
Howard: Who?
Mrs. Wolowitz Okay, now she's saying it's Penny.