Howard: Sometime through the night an armadillo fell in, then he spooned me.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: So you can never take it (the sweater) off?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Not even to sleep?
Leonard: No.
Howard: So you're just an idiot?
Leonard: It's called proving a point.
Howard: Is the point you're an idiot?

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

Sheldon: Gotta run. (Looks down at scissors) But not with scissors, that would be unsafe.

Sheldon: Bongo solo!

Penny: Where are you going?
Sheldon: Wherever the music takes me, kitten.