Penny: You know Amy, when we say we're having girl talk, it doesn't mean that we just have to talk about our ladyparts.
Amy: That's a shame. I had a real zinger about my tilted uterus.

Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.

Amy: Do you have any idea how hard it is to laugh at a knock knock joke that starts "Knock Knock Knock, Amy. Knock Knock Knock, Amy. Knock Knock Knock, Amy"?

Bernadette: Besides, Penny and I are having a girl's night tonight.
Amy: Girls night, what does that entail?
Bernadette: Oh you know, girls get together hang out share girl talk.
Amy: I'm a girl.
Bernadette: Oh well maybe you could join us. I'll ask Penny.
Amy: No need, Penny and I are very close.
Leonard: You are?
Amy: Yes, In fact our mensies are synchronized.

Penny: Okay, help me out here. How does an archaeology professor get that good with a whip?
Howard: Maybe he took a class at the adult bookstore. That's how I learned.

Sheldon: No cuts, no buts, no coconuts.