Raj: I can see my little princess while I'm at work, right?
Howard: Why can't you just watch porn like a normal guy?

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Sheldon: Well, that stinks. No wonder you got cancelled. Bye.

Amy: Missed one. Now your wish can't come true.
Sheldon: Lucky for you because I wished you were dead.

Sheldon: You don't know what it's like to feel completely frustrated. To have a desire build up within you and be denied any opportunity for release.
Amy: Yeah, sounds like a drag.