Howard: Last time I was here, I was a scrawny little nerd.
Leonard: And now you're also an astronaut.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Bernadette: We can't all be Cinderella.
Amy: Then how do we decide?
Bernadette: Well, it's simple. This was my idea. I'm driving. I'm Cinderella. You bitches got a problem with that, we could stop the car right now.

Sheldon: (Typing into a search engine) How do I get 12-year-old schoolgirls excited?
Howard and Leonard: No!

Bernadette: Every one of you has the capacity to be anything you want to be.
Penny: Unless you want to be Cinderella.
Bernadette: Come at me. See what happens!