Bernadette: So your boyfriend's a fixer-upper? Most of them are. I mean look at this guy. You think he came like this? When I met him he was a hot, goofy mess. Now, he's been to Space. That's all me!
Howard: I had a little to do with it.
Bernadette: Oh sure you did. Who's momma's big Space Man?
Howard: I am!

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Amy: I don't know what made me think tonight would be any different.
Bernadette: Well just the fact you got him up here says a lot. To be honest, I bet Howie $200 that it wasn't going to happen.
Howard: I'm going to the Lego Store to get a big-ass R2D2.
Bernadette: See, it's not just Sheldon, they're all idiots.
Howard: She's right.

Sheldon: What is your problem?
Amy: It's Valentine's day. We're supposed to be having a romantic weekend.
Sheldon: Oh, really? 'cause I remember you saying this trip was going to be something we could both enjoy. Did you mean that or were you just trying to trick me?
Amy: Fine, it's true. I deserve romance and I didn't know how else to make it happen.

Leonard: I'm not sure it's a good idea to take Penny to where wine comes from.