Leonard: Two women at the same time? Nice job, playa!
Penny: Really?
Leonard: Was it the two women thing or the "playa"? ... It was the playa.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma.

Sheldon: Oh look, a quarter!

Sheldon: Boy, do I have to urinate.
Leonard: If only there were a solution to that.