Leonard: So I'm like a bran muffin?
Penny: What? No, that's not what I'm saying.
Leonard: No, that's exactly what you're saying. I'm the boring thing you're choosing because I'm good for you.
Penny: What does it matter? I'm choosing you.
Leonard: It matters a lot. I don't want to be a bran muffin. I want to be a cinnabon, a strawberry pop tart. Something you're excited about, even if it could give you diabetes.
Penny: Sweetie, you can be any pastry you want.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Bernadette: I'm glad I got that mocha. And you know what else I'm glad about? I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car!

Penny: I finally realize I don't need to be famous or have some big career to be happy.
Leonard: Well what do you need?
Penny: You, you stupid Poptart.