Leonard: Wait, wait, is 'brought' right?
Sheldon: Marty never had have had brought?
Leonard: I don't know, you did it to me.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Sheldon: I know the real reason you never made progress with that idea. You thought of it September 22nd, 2007. Two days later, Penny moved in and so much blood rushed to your genitals, your brain became a ghost town.

Amy: But enough about Penny, let's talk about us. We're looking good.
Bernadette: We are.
Amy: Better than good. I mean look at you, your body's bangin'.
Bernadette: Amy!
Amy: Don't Amy me. We're always talking about how hot Penny is. Come on, scientist to scientist, how big are those hadron colliders?

Bernadette: Guess who won a hundred dollars playing craps?
Penny: That's a dollar.
Bernadette: Guess who wildly over-tipped a cocktail waitress?