Penny: What am I supposed to say?
Leonard: Say "Can't talk right now, hanging with my boyfriend. England sucks. You suck. USA number one."

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Sheldon: You may not realize it, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, understanding sarcasm, feigning interest in others, not talking about trains as much as I want. It's exhausting!

Sheldon: (Playing hackey sack) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Drat. I'm never going to get to forty-three again. One, two, three, four. Rats.

Penny: Hey! Shouldn't you be out with your gang spray painting equations on the sides of buildings?