Wil Wheaton: Hello, caller, you are on with Penny and Wil from Serial Ape-ist 2.
Woman on phone: I don't have a question. I just want to say I'm a big fan of the movie. I've seen it, like, ten times.
Penny: Okay, well, I'll apologize for the first time, but the other nine are on you.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Raj: [to Amy] If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Sheldon: It reminds me of when my stupid brother and sister would build forts in the living room, and wouldn't let me in. I hated that so much.
Amy: You know, there's nothing I can do about getting you invited to the symposium, but if you wanted we could build a fort.
Sheldon: Isn't that a little juvenile?
Amy: More juvenile than this? *Puts up picture of smiling Sheldon to her face*

Josh: So, I have to ask, was the robot sexy?
Howard: It was actually just a mechanical hand.
Josh: 'Cause that's all you need, right?
Howard: You are my brother.

Leonard: Well, you can spend the rest of the day being bitter about this--
Sheldon: Agreed.
Leonard: I was going to say "or," but why bother?