Bernadette: Boy, when was the last time Stuart cleaned this place?
Howard: No kidding. Oh, okay, I'm about to suck something up. What do you think this object sounds like?
Bernadette: Howie, I don't want to play Lego, Toenail or Pill anymore.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Sheldon: Perhaps I should explain. While working with Koothrappali, we discovered an asteroid, and I named it after you.
Amy: Oh, Sheldon, thank you. That's so romantic. But what about Rajesh? He was okay with you choosing the name?
Sheldon: Well, it took a little negotiating, but I wore him down. Uh, we get the asteroid, and if you and I have children, they all have to be named Rajesh.
Amy: All of them?
Sheldon: Even the girls.
Amy: Okay, I think I know what to say now.

Penny: And in double-blind studies, Placinex proved extremely effective in treating all kinds of anxiety. Actually, funny story. The boys in the lab were worried about getting FDA approval for Placinex; they started taking it, stopped worrying.

Howard: You know, once we get the house back to ourselves, we can be romantic in any room we want.
Bernadette: Great. I can finally show you where the laundry room is.