Raj: Oh, my goodness, look at this room! Champagne! Roses! Oh and little chocolates! This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever.
Leonard: Yeah, I forgot about all this.
Raj: But I never will.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Penny: What do you mean new roommate? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: The same thing that happened to Homo Erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town.

Leonard: What would you guys do if you were me?
Wolowitz: I would take Sheldon to Switzerland.
Leonard: Seriously?
Wolowitz: Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.

Sheldon: It was you. I touched you!
Penny: Happy Valentine's Day.

Penny: I think I caught the flu. *Throwing up*. Or the plague!