Leonard: What would you guys do if you were me?
Wolowitz: I would take Sheldon to Switzerland.
Leonard: Seriously?
Wolowitz: Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Sheldon: It was you. I touched you!
Penny: Happy Valentine's Day.

Penny: I think I caught the flu. *Throwing up*. Or the plague!

Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: Hello.
Sheldon: Ok, enough with the friendly banter. I believe you know why I am here.
Penny: Oh, I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords.
Sheldon: Yes, amusing. Extraordinary intelligence might well appear extraterrestrial to you, but let me be more specific. I believe you know why I am here in the laundry room.