Bernadette: I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm supposed to marry Howard in a couple of weeks and I'm not sure I even know who the man is any more.
Amy: I'm curious what's bothering you most, the borderline incest, the prostitute or group sex with the girl dressed as the children's cartoon?
Penny: Amy, remember when we went over things that would be helpful and things that wouldn't?
Amy: Right. And that was...
Penny: Not.

Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.

Amy: I guess it must have been back when I was in the Girl Sprouts.
Bernadette: Girl Sprouts?
Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn't want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore.

Barry Kripke: Yes, yes, yes. He's a jolly good fellow. What time do the strippers arrive?

Stuart: Okay, I'll go. Howard, when I think about you and Bernadette starting this wonderful life together, I can't help but get a little choked up. I mean, look at you. You have everything. Look at me. I'm 37. I sleep in the back of a comic book store, and I have the bone density of an 80-year-old man. To Howard.

Raj: When I moved to America I was pretty lonely, but when I met Howard my life changed because we could be lonely together.