Raj: If you look carefully at Venus, you should be able to see the International Space Station pass by.
Lucy: Wow. Your friend was actually up there?
Raj: Yeah. He brought me back a T-shirt that said "My Friend Went to the Space Station and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt".
Lucy: Did he take the T-shirt to space?
Raj: Nope. It's exactly as lousy as advertised.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Penny: What do you mean new roommate? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: The same thing that happened to Homo Erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town.

Leonard: Sheldon's nervous about me leaving. Just keep an eye on him while I'm gone.
Penny: Oh, I don't know. Remember what happened when I took care of your goldfish?
Leonard: Well, flush Sheldon down the toilet and get me a new one.

Raj: Okay, I have a request to make.
Amy: And now he can talk. I want to cut open your brain and see what the heck is going on in there.

Bernadette: You know, one of the things that helped me get through Howard being in space for so long was getting married before he left.
Penny: Bernadette, sweetie, shut up.